The First Thing You'd Do if You Were President

Matterhorn Fan · 05-03-2005, 03:40 PM

What would you do first? What would your White House priorities be?

Clique here to see what J-Lo would do. (Warning: Scary mascara-eyes photo at that link)

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 05-03-2005, 03:46 PM

Shoot myself, and save the country - nay, the entire world - a whole lot of trouble.

"Ms President, what shall we do?"

"Uh, uh....uh."

"We need a decision, Ms President, and we need one NOW!"

"Oh my God. Oh my God. I have no idea what to do. Oh my God. Uh."

"The country is counting on you, Ms President."

"Stupid country!"

"Why did you run for office if you were incapable of making these kinds of decisions?"

"These kinds? I can't make ANY kind."

"Jesus."

"I know."

"My God, why have you done this to us?"

"The interns, man. I heard they'd be cute. Huzzah!"

"I was *actually* talking to God. Just shut your mouth Ms President. You, you..you BEEBLEBROX!"

LSPoorEeyorick · 05-03-2005, 03:46 PM

I'm particulary pleased about why she thinks she and Marc Anthony will never part:

"I think he would father beautiful children."

Mmm, now that's good shallow!

If I were president? Aside from higher taxes and more money going to education especially in urban areas that are especially lacking? And more action taken to save the rapidly dying planet? And legalizing gay marriage? I'd have tea with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. I think that this kind of change would be impossible considering that slightly half of the country supported Bush and his puppeteers; now he's singing "I've got no strings" and the sound of crickets is conspicuously absent.

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 05-03-2005, 03:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LSPoorEeyorick

I'm particulary pleased about why she thinks she and Marc Anthony will never part:

"I think he would father beautiful children."

I think Jen may need to take the bag off of Marc Anthony's head. Silly Jen.

wendybeth · 05-03-2005, 04:05 PM

Doesn't he have a kid or two? Doesn't she know them?

Anyone else just the teensiest bit curious as to how the White House might look after a J-Lo re-do?

Nahhhh......

Motorboat Cruiser · 05-03-2005, 04:07 PM

Hmm, the first thing I would do as President...

Figure out a plan to undo as much of the damage caused by the current administration as I possibly could. I would probably need 5 terms to make a dent though.

scaeagles · 05-03-2005, 04:10 PM

I'd lower taxes, as historically that actually increases government revenue due to increased economic activity.

I'd get a national education voucher passed to allow poor families with inner city children to go to private schools where they can actually get an education.

I would utilize imminent domain to purchase all property along the US Mexico border (and perhaps along the Canadian border, but I don't know how much of a problem illegal immigration is up north) so that I could build a wall and put up high tech monitoring equipment along with tripling the number of border patrol agents so that I could stop the influx of illegal immigrants.

I'd allow the average US taxpayer to opt out of Social Security, just as members of the House and Senate can do. It would have to be on a gradual basis, of course, to fulfill the commitments to those who have paid in.

I'd get drilling in ANWR pushed through. The fact of the matter is our dependence on foreign oil is only increasing and we must utilize what we know we have, as there is no other source of viable energy to replace it.

I'd build nuclear power plants. It's ridiculous that we haven't built any since the 70s.

That's about all I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure if I thought about it I'd be able to think of more.

€uroMeinke · 05-03-2005, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Matterhorn Fan

What would you do first? What would your White House priorities be?

You mean after the blow job?

LSPoorEeyorick · 05-03-2005, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by scaeagles

The fact of the matter is our dependence on foreign oil is only increasing and we must utilize what we know we have, as there is no other source of viable energy to replace it.

You speak as though there is no way of decreasing our dependence. This is not so. I get 33 mi/gallon in my little car. When the Metro orange line is put into place by September, I will hardly be using my car at all.

And you state outright that there is no other option for fuel. But what about hybrids? Wind power? Vegetable oil? Mr. Fusion? Why won't they increase funding for such research? The technology exists. Somebody up the ladder is squashing it, and it seems to me like it'd be somebody with their fortune tied up in oil. Hmm. Who do I know who has his fortune tied up in oil?

Meanwhile, scientists have come out and bloody well said that this planet won't be long for this world. It simply cannot support life at this rate for years to come. Our children, and our children's children, are going to suffer. And it will all be our fault.

Prudence · 05-03-2005, 04:40 PM

You do mean when, right? Not if?

Now I have to think -- not sure I want to commit to my platform this early.

Okay, FIRST thing, email all my friends from back when to say "see! told you so!"

05-03-2005, 03:40 PM	#1
Matterhorn Fan Double Agent Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Back East Posts: 2,071	The First Thing You'd Do if You Were President What would you do first? What would your White House priorities be? Clique here to see what J-Lo would do. (Warning: Scary mascara-eyes photo at that link)
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05-03-2005, 03:46 PM	#2
Eliza Hodgkins 1812 Sputnik Sweetheart Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Long Beach Posts: 2,685	Shoot myself, and save the country - nay, the entire world - a whole lot of trouble. "Ms President, what shall we do?" "Uh, uh....uh." "We need a decision, Ms President, and we need one NOW!" "Oh my God. Oh my God. I have no idea what to do. Oh my God. Uh." "The country is counting on you, Ms President." "Stupid country!" "Why did you run for office if you were incapable of making these kinds of decisions?" "These kinds? I can't make ANY kind." "Jesus." "I know." "My God, why have you done this to us?" "The interns, man. I heard they'd be cute. Huzzah!" "I was actually talking to God. Just shut your mouth Ms President. You, you..you BEEBLEBROX!"
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05-03-2005, 03:46 PM	#3
LSPoorEeyorick scribblin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in the moment Posts: 3,872	I'm particulary pleased about why she thinks she and Marc Anthony will never part: "I think he would father beautiful children." Mmm, now that's good shallow! If I were president? Aside from higher taxes and more money going to education especially in urban areas that are especially lacking? And more action taken to save the rapidly dying planet? And legalizing gay marriage? I'd have tea with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. I think that this kind of change would be impossible considering that slightly half of the country supported Bush and his puppeteers; now he's singing "I've got no strings" and the sound of crickets is conspicuously absent. Last edited by LSPoorEeyorick : 05-03-2005 at 03:53 PM.
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05-03-2005, 04:05 PM	#5
wendybeth Nevermind Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,847	Doesn't he have a kid or two? Doesn't she know them? Anyone else just the teensiest bit curious as to how the White House might look after a J-Lo re-do? Nahhhh...... __________________
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05-03-2005, 04:07 PM	#6
Motorboat Cruiser Cruiser of Motorboats Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: So Cal Posts: 3,665	Hmm, the first thing I would do as President... Figure out a plan to undo as much of the damage caused by the current administration as I possibly could. I would probably need 5 terms to make a dent though.
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05-03-2005, 04:10 PM	#7
scaeagles I LIKE! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,819	I'd lower taxes, as historically that actually increases government revenue due to increased economic activity. I'd get a national education voucher passed to allow poor families with inner city children to go to private schools where they can actually get an education. I would utilize imminent domain to purchase all property along the US Mexico border (and perhaps along the Canadian border, but I don't know how much of a problem illegal immigration is up north) so that I could build a wall and put up high tech monitoring equipment along with tripling the number of border patrol agents so that I could stop the influx of illegal immigrants. I'd allow the average US taxpayer to opt out of Social Security, just as members of the House and Senate can do. It would have to be on a gradual basis, of course, to fulfill the commitments to those who have paid in. I'd get drilling in ANWR pushed through. The fact of the matter is our dependence on foreign oil is only increasing and we must utilize what we know we have, as there is no other source of viable energy to replace it. I'd build nuclear power plants. It's ridiculous that we haven't built any since the 70s. That's about all I can think of off the top of my head. I'm sure if I thought about it I'd be able to think of more.
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05-03-2005, 04:40 PM	#10
Prudence Beelzeboobs, Esq. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Gavel - I haz it Posts: 6,287	You do mean when, right? Not if? Now I have to think -- not sure I want to commit to my platform this early. Okay, FIRST thing, email all my friends from back when to say "see! told you so!" __________________ traguna macoities tracorum satis de
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