You People

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 05-26-2005, 03:07 PM

What is WRONG with You People?

Yes, you know who I’m talking about: The You People. The Those People!

The People who do things which you find unfathomable? Their behavior defies logic. There is no need for them to do as they do but for the sake of rudeness, perhaps.

For instance:

When I ride the bus, and there’s an empty seat by the window, I take the window seat. It’s not because I want to stare out the window and enjoy the scenery, though sometimes that’s nice. I chose the window seat so that the seat next to me is free, and someone can easily plop down beside me without having to pass over me. You see, if you take the aisle seat (usually so you can make a hasty exit), next to an empty window seat, there’s no way to get to the window seat unless you scoot past the person seated in an aisle, or they politely stand up to let you pass. And here’s my issue: What is WRONG with you people who do not stand up to let someone pass, whether it’s to get to the seat next to you, or to exit the bus? Why must you do that thing where you slide your legs into the aisle, as if that’s really giving us enough room to pass by you. Sure, you’re legs aren’t in the way, but this is a tight fit, and I still have to press into your flesh with my a$$ or vagina as I pass. And these are two areas of my body I only want certain people touching, and NONE of these select few have EVER been YOU people.

And, no, this is not a case of a lady protesting too much. I really do hate it.

And in case you are reading this, allow me to point out just who YOU people are. You are this and that a$$hole! You're that fvcking guy and girl I can't stand, even if you are the nicest person ever and take care of dying lymphoma babies. Even if you are the person who makes it possible for me to buy honey at the grocery store, so that I do not have to pilfer dangerous bee hives to enjoy my favorite sweet treat, I think you’re a piece of corn poop!

I realize that it’s a very funny scene in Fight Club when Brad Pitt makes his remark about whether it’s more polite to give someone the a$$ or crotch. Hah-hah, Brad Pitt! And, because it’s Brad Pitt, many of us wouldn’t mind having either his a$$ or his crotch shoved up against us. In fact, some of us might even like it if he were naked, his wiry pubey bits tickling our arms as he goes by, the musk smell of manhood lingering in his wake….

Some of us.

But I don’t think it’s too far of a stretch to know that it doesn’t matter whether it’s the a$$ or the crotch. They are BOTH rude and they are BOTH precious, private areas, and the only contact I want them to have (aside from with my underwear) is with the negative space you kindly leave behind when you’ve stood up and moved out of my way.

STAND UP! Just stand up, people. I’m not asking for your seat. I’m not asking for you to pave my exit with rose petals, nor do I expect you to pour me a gin and tonic if I take a seat next to you, but I DO expect you to let me take my seat without having to molest you with my ass flab. That’s doing neither of us any favors, so please, You People, use your manners.

Now, another thing that really bugs me You People. How HARD is it to do your dishes after you use them? Why, WHY, must you leave them in the sink for 7 days? Is it a religious thing? Is it because the drying rack is full of last week’s dishes? Why not just put those away?!

Well, it’s because I’m lazy.

Oh, God. Audra – myself – are you ONE of Those People?!

Yeah. I’m no better than the rest of mankind when it really comes down to it. All kinds of people do things that are rude and annoying, and in certain areas of my life, I’m no exception.

Well, try. Try to be exceptional!

Okay.

05-26-2005, 03:07 PM	#1
Eliza Hodgkins 1812 Sputnik Sweetheart Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Long Beach Posts: 2,685	You People What is WRONG with You People? Yes, you know who I’m talking about: The You People. The Those People! The People who do things which you find unfathomable? Their behavior defies logic. There is no need for them to do as they do but for the sake of rudeness, perhaps. For instance: When I ride the bus, and there’s an empty seat by the window, I take the window seat. It’s not because I want to stare out the window and enjoy the scenery, though sometimes that’s nice. I chose the window seat so that the seat next to me is free, and someone can easily plop down beside me without having to pass over me. You see, if you take the aisle seat (usually so you can make a hasty exit), next to an empty window seat, there’s no way to get to the window seat unless you scoot past the person seated in an aisle, or they politely stand up to let you pass. And here’s my issue: What is WRONG with you people who do not stand up to let someone pass, whether it’s to get to the seat next to you, or to exit the bus? Why must you do that thing where you slide your legs into the aisle, as if that’s really giving us enough room to pass by you. Sure, you’re legs aren’t in the way, but this is a tight fit, and I still have to press into your flesh with my a$$ or vagina as I pass. And these are two areas of my body I only want certain people touching, and NONE of these select few have EVER been YOU people. And, no, this is not a case of a lady protesting too much. I really do hate it. And in case you are reading this, allow me to point out just who YOU people are. You are this and that a$$hole! You're that fvcking guy and girl I can't stand, even if you are the nicest person ever and take care of dying lymphoma babies. Even if you are the person who makes it possible for me to buy honey at the grocery store, so that I do not have to pilfer dangerous bee hives to enjoy my favorite sweet treat, I think you’re a piece of corn poop! I realize that it’s a very funny scene in Fight Club when Brad Pitt makes his remark about whether it’s more polite to give someone the a$$ or crotch. Hah-hah, Brad Pitt! And, because it’s Brad Pitt, many of us wouldn’t mind having either his a$$ or his crotch shoved up against us. In fact, some of us might even like it if he were naked, his wiry pubey bits tickling our arms as he goes by, the musk smell of manhood lingering in his wake…. Some of us. But I don’t think it’s too far of a stretch to know that it doesn’t matter whether it’s the a$$ or the crotch. They are BOTH rude and they are BOTH precious, private areas, and the only contact I want them to have (aside from with my underwear) is with the negative space you kindly leave behind when you’ve stood up and moved out of my way. STAND UP! Just stand up, people. I’m not asking for your seat. I’m not asking for you to pave my exit with rose petals, nor do I expect you to pour me a gin and tonic if I take a seat next to you, but I DO expect you to let me take my seat without having to molest you with my ass flab. That’s doing neither of us any favors, so please, You People, use your manners. Now, another thing that really bugs me You People. How HARD is it to do your dishes after you use them? Why, WHY, must you leave them in the sink for 7 days? Is it a religious thing? Is it because the drying rack is full of last week’s dishes? Why not just put those away?! Well, it’s because I’m lazy. Oh, God. Audra – myself – are you ONE of Those People?! Yeah. I’m no better than the rest of mankind when it really comes down to it. All kinds of people do things that are rude and annoying, and in certain areas of my life, I’m no exception. Well, try. Try to be exceptional! Okay.
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