Librarians everywhere hate me

[tracilicious]

Because not only do I return books extremely late and accrue massive fines, I also send them on wild goose chases to find author's that don't exist.

Friday night, via YM, I mentioned to Not Afraid that I recently finished Time Traveler's Wife By Audrey Niffeneger (recommended to me by EH1812, and it's a super book). I've only read non-fiction since then, but told NA that I'm ready to start another novel. She so graciously points me towards a Japanese author that she and Euro have enjoyed. The amazon review looked just my kind of interesting, but I've bought way too many books on amazon lately, and I just wasn't sure my marriage could survive another. Thankfully I had a library trip planned for the weekend anyways. The next day I called the library, and yes, they had several books by that author in stock. Woo-hoo!

Excited about a new book prospect (these things really are like relationships, you know), I dropped off Michael, Indi and the baby in the kids section. He really is the best husband Have I mentioned that? And head over to the H's. It occurs to me that I can't remember if it's Harukami or Hurakami. No bother, I'll just check both. What? It isn't in either place? But the librarian told me they had several in stock. Ok, I'll check the computer.

Nothing here either? I must be searching wrong. I'll just ask the librarian at the help desk. That's what they're for, right?

Excuse me. I'm looking for an author. I called yesterday and was told you carry his books, but I can't seem to find any in adult fiction. It's Harukami. H-a-r-u-k-a-m-i. No? Try H-u-r-a-k-a-m-i. I might be transversing the letters. Not that either? I'm positive it's one of those. I was told just yesterday that you had it.

So she (the she in question was a very manish looking lady with a manish haircut and man clothes, there's nothing wrong with being a butch lesbian librarian, I'm just adding that for the sake of description) sighs and starts to look on Amazon. Isn't it funny that libraries search Amazon for books? I think so.

She puts in every possible combination of Harukami. Now, several times by now I had said, "Thank you!" with the intent of walking away as to not waste all her time. Yet she kept intently searching, as if it was a personal battle (and to be honest I was convinced she just wasn't a very good searcher and I was going to continue the quest on my own). Every once in a while she would pause to give me that superior look that only librarians and school nurses can muster. (And no offense to my LoT librarian friends, I'm sure you would never give anyone that look. )

The title had a bird in it...Bird on a String! Yes, that's it. Do you have that? No? No, it's definitely not Bird on a Wire. Are you sure it's not there? He's apparently a very well known Japanese author...Do you have google? Maybe we should try google. I don't want to monopolize all your time, I'll just go look on the shelves again...Oh, ok, we can keep searching.

I consider myself to be somewhat of a master googler. I can find just about anything with the help of my good friend google. About our fifth phrase search I see a name. I just can't believe it. I'm not that stupid. There's no possible way I'm that stupid.

Murakami! There it is! It was an M! I can't believe it. I'm sorry. I would have sworn on my life it was an H! Guess I should write it down next time. heh heh.

So she's laughing, and it's not a good natured laugh. It was an "I'm gonna tell all my librarians friends about what an idiot you are as soon as you walk away from this desk" kind of laugh. I'm laughing, because although extremely embarrassed, I can laugh at myself for being an idiot. After all, I should have written it down. She checks the library catalog for the new, correct author and sees a long list of books.

Wind Up Bird Chronicles! Yes that's it! How could I have forgotten that. Librarians everywhere hate me!

She laughingly declares, "Yes we do!"

As I walk away to find my books I see her turn to her librarian friend to recount her "dumb patron of the library" tale.

So there you have it. Librarians everywhere hate me. It's been confirmed.