Sick Friend, Need Ideas...

Moonliner · 06-12-2006, 05:20 PM

Hey all, bad news in my world today.

A good friend of mine is suffering from macular degeneration that has left her almost totally blind in both eyes (temporarily we hope). She's always been a very active (jittery would be a good word) person and she's going stir crazy right now.

I'm sending her a couple of books on CD but if you have any other ideas that might help keep her sane through this I'd love to hear them.

Thanks.

LSPoorEeyorick · 06-12-2006, 05:36 PM

I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I will send lots of warm thoughts and prayers for healing her way.

My mom has had a degenerative blood disease for a long time now and we've struggled to find ways to cheer her up. I call her every day to check in with her, and that seems to help. Often, when I'm near her, I'll just hold her hand, and sit and listen to her... that seems to help more than anything.

Does she have a favorite scent or anything? There are anti-stress balms available at places like Bath and Body works that can be very calming. What about massage? Is she feeling well enough to go out, or would she be willing to have someone come in? A hand or foot massage (or a back massage) can help her release some of the tension she's so surely feeling right now.

I wish her all the best.

Not Afraid · 06-12-2006, 05:42 PM

Well, when your eyes go, you have to heighten your other senses. I'm thinking:
Things that smell good
Things that feel good
Things that sound good
Things that taste good

A grab bag of sensory goodness migh provide some relief to the stircrazyness she's experiencing.

Oh, and don't forget the

tracilicious · 06-12-2006, 05:46 PM

Is she in the hospital? If so, how about bringing her a good meal (read, not hospital food!)? I agree with the posts above, she may not be able to have candles and such because of the fire risk, but you could get an electric essential oil diffuser.

Prudence · 06-12-2006, 05:52 PM

Take her places. I haven't lost my sight yet, but I imagine suddenly feeling helpless would suck. I'd be afraid to go places without assistance. So, perhaps taking her to places that stimulate the senses? Off the top of my head - symphony or other concert type situation, maybe the ocean (smells and sounds) with a picnic.

Oh, and providing a means for getting MORE books on CD/tape/whatever.

Snowflake · 06-12-2006, 05:54 PM

Stir crazy, inside? If the weather is good, hwo about a picnic with a place with piney smells and good food and cool breezes and nature sounds.

Kevy Baby · 06-12-2006, 07:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

Oh, and don't forget the [URL "http://www.wikkistix.com/"] [/url]

Hey NA; you left a big fat blank (I took out the "=" to illustrate).

Here is the actual link: http://www.wikkistix.com/

Not Afraid · 06-12-2006, 07:52 PM

How strange. My Mac is still foreign ground.

Kevy Baby · 06-12-2006, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

How strange. My Mac is still foreign ground.

Unfortunately, vBulletin isn't as clean as on the Mac as it is on a PC. Ironically, no WYSIWYG.
___________________________

MOONLINER: sorry for hijacking the thread.

I've occassionaly thought about losing one of my senses or use of limb(s). Losing my sight scares the crap out of me.

I think there have been some excellent suggestions made here. I have found that when dealing with something this serious, the best thing is just to behave normally around the person (or at least as normally as possible). Don't dwell on the obvious (unless the person feels like talking), just do as much as you normally did before.

Many years ago (pre GusGus), I had a girlfriend who was diagnosed and operated on for a brain tumour. She (obviously) was in the hospital quite a bit. While it was traumatic for me, I never showed it when I was with her. I just acted like nothing was different and just carried on like nothing was happening - we just happened to be hanging out in a different place. Many years later, when I got a chance to talk with her again, she said that the way I treated her was what got her through the ordeal*. People (her mother especially) coming in and babying her and being overly sympathetic just reminded her of her condition. Being as normal as possible helps the person realize that while there will be changes, that their life WILL go on.

*I bring this up for illustrative purposes only - I don't need or want kudos for what I did.

Ponine · 06-13-2006, 08:29 AM

I totally agree with Kevy.
Sometimes all anyone wants to do is suddenly treat the ill person as a child all over again, not the loving, adult, respected person they have grown to be.
Suddenly, not only did they lose the ability to X, they are no longer even an adult able to think and make decisions.

I worked for a woman who was blind for a while.. she loved taking walks, loved dogs.. any dog. And she adored music and tv.

My vote? Walks, outdoors, music, and podcasts. Familiar movies would work for me, but you would have to find out what your friend thinks. I can see that being upsetting as well.

06-12-2006, 05:20 PM	#1
Moonliner 8/30/14 - Disneyland -10k or Bust. Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 9,022	Sick Friend, Need Ideas... Hey all, bad news in my world today. A good friend of mine is suffering from macular degeneration that has left her almost totally blind in both eyes (temporarily we hope). She's always been a very active (jittery would be a good word) person and she's going stir crazy right now. I'm sending her a couple of books on CD but if you have any other ideas that might help keep her sane through this I'd love to hear them. Thanks. __________________ - Taking it one step at a time.
	Submit to Quotes

06-12-2006, 05:36 PM	#2
LSPoorEeyorick scribblin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in the moment Posts: 3,872	I'm sorry to hear about your friend. I will send lots of warm thoughts and prayers for healing her way. My mom has had a degenerative blood disease for a long time now and we've struggled to find ways to cheer her up. I call her every day to check in with her, and that seems to help. Often, when I'm near her, I'll just hold her hand, and sit and listen to her... that seems to help more than anything. Does she have a favorite scent or anything? There are anti-stress balms available at places like Bath and Body works that can be very calming. What about massage? Is she feeling well enough to go out, or would she be willing to have someone come in? A hand or foot massage (or a back massage) can help her release some of the tension she's so surely feeling right now. I wish her all the best.
	Submit to Quotes

06-12-2006, 05:42 PM	#3
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	Well, when your eyes go, you have to heighten your other senses. I'm thinking: Things that smell good Things that feel good Things that sound good Things that taste good A grab bag of sensory goodness migh provide some relief to the stircrazyness she's experiencing. Oh, and don't forget the
	Submit to Quotes

06-12-2006, 05:46 PM	#4
tracilicious avatar transition Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in-between Posts: 2,487	Is she in the hospital? If so, how about bringing her a good meal (read, not hospital food!)? I agree with the posts above, she may not be able to have candles and such because of the fire risk, but you could get an electric essential oil diffuser. __________________ And now Harry, let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure! - Albus Dumbledore
	Submit to Quotes

06-12-2006, 05:52 PM	#5
Prudence Beelzeboobs, Esq. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Gavel - I haz it Posts: 6,287	Take her places. I haven't lost my sight yet, but I imagine suddenly feeling helpless would suck. I'd be afraid to go places without assistance. So, perhaps taking her to places that stimulate the senses? Off the top of my head - symphony or other concert type situation, maybe the ocean (smells and sounds) with a picnic. Oh, and providing a means for getting MORE books on CD/tape/whatever. __________________ traguna macoities tracorum satis de
	Submit to Quotes

06-12-2006, 05:54 PM	#6
Snowflake lost in the fog Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: San Francisco Posts: 7,831	Stir crazy, inside? If the weather is good, hwo about a picnic with a place with piney smells and good food and cool breezes and nature sounds. __________________ Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde
	Submit to Quotes

06-12-2006, 07:52 PM	#8
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	How strange. My Mac is still foreign ground.
	Submit to Quotes

06-13-2006, 08:29 AM	#10
Ponine Virgin Ears Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: San Diego Posts: 2,075	I totally agree with Kevy. Sometimes all anyone wants to do is suddenly treat the ill person as a child all over again, not the loving, adult, respected person they have grown to be. Suddenly, not only did they lose the ability to X, they are no longer even an adult able to think and make decisions. I worked for a woman who was blind for a while.. she loved taking walks, loved dogs.. any dog. And she adored music and tv. My vote? Walks, outdoors, music, and podcasts. Familiar movies would work for me, but you would have to find out what your friend thinks. I can see that being upsetting as well. __________________ There's something strange, There's something wrong. I see a change - It's like when love dies.
	Submit to Quotes