No day but today...

Gemini Cricket · 12-22-2007, 09:39 PM

A couple of years after coming out of the closet, I felt really, really alone. You know, alone? After leaving the safety zone of college and the comfort it provided, I had a tight group of friends, but I wasn't close with anyone who was gay. And a boyfriend was about two years in the future for me.

I lost my virginity in college after shooting a stage show fund raiser at a hotel in Anaheim. He and I finished our camera work for the stage show and fvcked each other's brains out in one of the hotel rooms. It was exhilarating.
But I guess I still felt empty afterwards.

The media was pounding everyone with images of people dying of AIDS and I felt like I was in constant mourning about acquaintances dying left and right. I lost someone who had helped me come out of the closet and felt helpless and damaged.

But a change was coming.

Being the freak I was about Steven Spielberg, I devoured anything that had his name attached. And when one of Dreamworks' first CDs came out I grabbed it without knowing anything about it.

It was the soundtrack for a new Broadway musical called "Rent".

I was absolutely blown the fvck out of the water. For once in my life I heard a love song between two men ("I'll Cover You) and a sort-of love song between two women ("Take Me of Leave Me"). It held strength in its words and felt empowered listening to it.

In the musical, people were celebrating themselves while the world seemed to be falling apart around them. I realized instantly that I was one of them. I finally felt okay about me.

When I had a chance to see it on stage at the Ahmanson's Theatre in LA, I was once again blown out of the water. Not the original cast, but a good one. Wilson Cruz was a wonderful Angel. After shaking his hand backstage, he got a call from Broadway that he was going to play Angel there. It was such a cool moment.

Like "Hair" impacted a generation, "Rent" had an impact on mine. It has a very special place in my heart.

The movie wasn't the best, but it was a chance for me to see a majority of the original cast in action. It was nice. (I'm watching it right now.)

A couple of days ago, after a long time not listening to the original soundtrack, I dusted it off and indulged once again. It still holds the same power for me now as it did back then.

Now, every so often, I'm going to take a break at the Life Cafe and enjoy life and everything in general. It's also a wonderful reminder to myself that there's an artist still living in this body somewhere.

So right now, I just wanted to share some of what I'm feeling right now. The positive vibes and the happy I'm experiencing.

Cheers, y'all.

La vie boheme!

12-22-2007, 09:39 PM	#1
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	No day but today... A couple of years after coming out of the closet, I felt really, really alone. You know, alone? After leaving the safety zone of college and the comfort it provided, I had a tight group of friends, but I wasn't close with anyone who was gay. And a boyfriend was about two years in the future for me. I lost my virginity in college after shooting a stage show fund raiser at a hotel in Anaheim. He and I finished our camera work for the stage show and fvcked each other's brains out in one of the hotel rooms. It was exhilarating. But I guess I still felt empty afterwards. The media was pounding everyone with images of people dying of AIDS and I felt like I was in constant mourning about acquaintances dying left and right. I lost someone who had helped me come out of the closet and felt helpless and damaged. But a change was coming. Being the freak I was about Steven Spielberg, I devoured anything that had his name attached. And when one of Dreamworks' first CDs came out I grabbed it without knowing anything about it. It was the soundtrack for a new Broadway musical called "Rent". I was absolutely blown the fvck out of the water. For once in my life I heard a love song between two men ("I'll Cover You) and a sort-of love song between two women ("Take Me of Leave Me"). It held strength in its words and felt empowered listening to it. In the musical, people were celebrating themselves while the world seemed to be falling apart around them. I realized instantly that I was one of them. I finally felt okay about me. When I had a chance to see it on stage at the Ahmanson's Theatre in LA, I was once again blown out of the water. Not the original cast, but a good one. Wilson Cruz was a wonderful Angel. After shaking his hand backstage, he got a call from Broadway that he was going to play Angel there. It was such a cool moment. Like "Hair" impacted a generation, "Rent" had an impact on mine. It has a very special place in my heart. The movie wasn't the best, but it was a chance for me to see a majority of the original cast in action. It was nice. (I'm watching it right now.) A couple of days ago, after a long time not listening to the original soundtrack, I dusted it off and indulged once again. It still holds the same power for me now as it did back then. Now, every so often, I'm going to take a break at the Life Cafe and enjoy life and everything in general. It's also a wonderful reminder to myself that there's an artist still living in this body somewhere. So right now, I just wanted to share some of what I'm feeling right now. The positive vibes and the happy I'm experiencing. Cheers, y'all. La vie boheme!
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