A message from a friend (heavy post)

[Kevy Baby]

Fair Warning: this will probably weigh heavy on your heart; I know it affected me tremendously.

I am going to share an email I just received from a friend. This is an email about his brother that he just wrote. I have changed the names to protect privacy (though if you really wanted to, you could probably do some quick and easy research).

I wanted to share because these are some of the most heartfelt, honest, and amazing words I've ever seen written about a human being.

Hi....

It's been a tough few days. Yesterday my 3 brothers, 2 nieces, and
nephew in law, and I went to the hospital and said goodbye to my
brother John. We brought Bach on piano on a ghettoblaster. We held
him as the respiratory therapist removed the breathing tube. He was
awake and we were with him. Finally peace. It was the most natural
thing to do. 59 years....25 years with AIDS. A long time fighter, he
got sick around 1981, before anyone even heard the term GRID (gay
related immunodeficiency syndrome). I went with him to a nutritionist
specializing in AIDS once per week in 1983. Main treatment....3 pounds
of turkey meat daily. He used a non-medical approach to healing for
the first 15 years...when everyone was dying. I remember visiting him
when he was sick with high fever of 105 for weeks.
Treatment......organic juicing 4 times daily. He would call me and
request the specific vegetable or fruit he was craving. He did not use
AZT or DDI or antibiotics when others died on them. He started a group
called "HEALING OURSELVES" which met once a week for years in
1992-1993. I attended some of them. Ozone therapy, Juicing, Exercise,
super high Vitamin/Antioxidant drip infusions, etc, etc, etc. I
learned some thing I am sure. Do not depend on the doctor for your
cure. Be the responsible person for your own health.

I'm rambling. I am unconciously wording my brother's eulogy. He was
my big gay brother. My only gay brother. He did everything first. He
was wild. He competed in the Van Cliburn Piano competition in the
1980s. He was a strict piano teacher. He composed 50 original music
pieces. He wrote books of poetry. He was an AIDS activist. Leather,
motorcycle, vocal. He was not afraid to scream his anger. He picketed
with the AIDS groups that were violent but effective in getting new
drugs released. He TOLD HIS STORY to his world at every chance. He
brought his piano students and parents together in 1991 (50 students)
and announced that he was retiring from teaching piano due to AIDS. He
felt he could not hide his condition any longer and that it was the
only responsible thing possible. Parents would be afraid to have their
kids being taught by a person living with AIDS.

He lost his ability to walk and care for himself in 1995 and he moved
in with me for 2 years 96-97. It was hell. He began to recover with
combination therapy and re-learned how to walk. He told me to fvck
myself and moved out in 9/97. He then lived in West Hollywood until
12/04 when he was evicted and ended up on the street with no care. He
was severely handicapped for these last 8 years. Electric wheelchair.
Incontinent of urine and feces. Mentally unable to fully care for
himself. Always smelly. Often angry. Intensely emotional. Playful
like a puppy. His total companion for these last 8 years was his dog
BESSIE. She loved John totally like no-one else could....and he loved
her...unconditionally. They played together daily. She ate what John
ate. He was hospitalized 4 weeks ago with pneumonia and died
yesterday.

What will I learn from my brother John? How to be unafraid in the
face of disaster? How to live? How to die?

I love my brother.

[Sheila]

I'm sorry for your friend's loss. To lose anyone close is a tragedy, to lose someone who is still young and full of life must be even harder.

My father passed away at the age of 89 in February and I am still trying to come to terms with it. It's a very difficult thing.

Hugs for you and your friend.

[dsnylndmom]

I'm so sorry for your friend's loss, what a heartfelt letter. Many hugs for the both of you.

[Gn2Dlnd]

Thank you, Kevy.
Know that this man lived with AIDS for 25 years, unheard of! Took chances that most of us would never consider. Lived his life and died his death by his own goddam terms. Was loved by his brother. We can look at the hand we're dealt and feel victimized, or we can look at the hand we're dealt and use it to affect change and growth. My heart is strengthened by his courage and strength.
Be well.

[MerryPrankster]

What a beautiful letter. Obviously written by a brother who loved his brother very much. John was an incredible human being. Everyone who knew him or spent time with him is truly blessed. Thanks for sharing, Kevy. {hugs}