Thithter Thychic*

[Gemini Cricket]

*Sister Psychic (A song by SmashMouth)

My older sister came to visit me yesterday. I was really looking forward to seeing her.

I love my older sister to death but sometimes she has a way of making me feel less than adequate.

She's very fixed on people's looks and always has something to say about my looks. She looks like Eva Longoria or a model or something...

At a restaurant, she waits until her husband to be goes to the bathroom to tell me that she and the rest of my immediate family are pooling their money together for a big purchase. Thinking it's a house or a condo somewhere I ask what it is.

My sister tells me that they're putting their money together because and this is a quote, 'You're teeth are really bad and you need dental work on your front teeth.' I was stunned. I had no idea that I had not for public interaction teeth. I had no idea that my British smile reminded the world of Roquefort cheese.

'You guys had a meeting about this?' I asked.
'Yes.' She said.

Then husband to be comes back to the table and the subject is dropped.

I am so fvcking steamed.

My friend, Mimi, said to take the money and run. Get veneers and laugh it all off. But I'm pissed. How fairweather, shallow and two dimensional can a family be? What happened to we love you no matter what?

And it gets better, folks.

For lunch, I'm eating seafood pasta leftovers from the other night. I bite into a hidden clamshell and chip my front tooth. Now I look like what they were talking about.

I don't know whether to laugh or just crawl in a hole and die.

I'm tho pithed off. But, as you can see, I still have my thense of humor.


Oh yes, I forgot to add that she thinks my apartment's too small, we act like we live in a dorm, there's too much dog hair in the truck, we have too many knickknacks and she's glad she can finally tell mom what my place looks like.

I hate my family.

[Not Afraid]

I don't know why I'm laughing right now, but I am. I should be pisssed at your sister and your family. (I've never noticed your need for dental work.) I LOVE your home and dog hair is better than no dog, so there. And, what is this "too many knickknacks" thing? Crazy. People are just crazy and all you can do is laugh.

[Gemini Cricket]

I'm laughing, too, actually.
This whole thing is ridiculous.
I told myself as the subway took her away, 'There's nothing wrong with my teeth.'
Then *bam* clamshell.
I guess it is funny.

[innerSpaceman]

Yes, pretty funny.

Except for the part where you might now have to take the swallow-pride money for the dental work you didn't previously need. Ah, but Neo, would you have chipped your tooth if your sister never said anything?


Well, how bad a chip is it? I have a small chip in my front tooth that (i hope) no one really notices all that much. I think it's kinda charming, in fact ... but my dentist says it is susceptible to more damage and should be fixed.

As for any dental work of a semi or major nature .... I myself would be only too glad to swallow pride or many other things in order to pay for it. Dental is expensive and I no doubt would wish for the foul-tasting handout from fuctup family of smallmindedness should I need any down the road.






Oh, and when you get to L.A., I ask your forgiveness in advance for me staring at your mouth for the first 20 minutes.

[Moonliner]

In an insane society the sane man must appear insane.

[RStar]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

I have a small chip in my front tooth that (i hope) no one really notices all that much. I think it's kinda charming, in fact ...

Sorry, but yes I noticed. However, you are right. It is part of you personality and charm. If you should fix it under the orders of the dentist, fine. Otherwise if it doesn't bother you, don't. You don't see David Lettermen fixing the gap in his front teeth do you? It's part of his personality as well.

GC, it was wrong of your family to do what they did. If they really wanted to help (and they may have had the best intentions) then someone should have asked you first if you ever wanted to do something about it. If you said no, then they should have dropped it. If you said yes, but it is too expensive, then they could have said we would like to help you if that's okay with you. This would have made a big difference.

But now that you HAVE to fix at least one, it's worth considering it. But I would be tempted to find a way to finance it with out the "pity handout" if that's the way you see it. Or, if you consider it a helpfull hand after having an accident, then take it (but I wouldn't count on it until it's in hand).

And I would let them know how much it hurt to have her say that. I'm sure you could find something to point out in each and every one of them.

*Give a flier for a weight loss clinic to the heaviest one with a note "Thought this might help you."

*Give a bottle of hair loss gell to a balding one with a note "I didn't want you to be embarrased any more, so here."

*Save up every coupon for mouth wash you can find and give them to someone who seems to have bad breath a lot. The note could say "So you never have to run out AGAIN".

*And for the guy with the stinky shoes, a package of odor eaters with a note "I didn't want you to be self-concious any more. Hope this helps!"

I'm sure you could come up with some more.......

Perhaps then they would get the hint.

I hope this helps!

[Gemini Cricket]

alphabassettgirl ~ Thank you for that. I called a friend of mine who is well versed in my family's history of torture and my final last words were, 'I just feel like something irritating is going to happen.' Maybe I'm psychic.

Yeah, Boston's about as far away as one can get from Hawai'i and still be in the US. They have a way of finding me...

LSPE ~ I don't know where this history of my family members being very surface oriented came from. It's always 'Your hair is getting grey like dad's.' Or 'You're getting fat like your mother.' Or 'You're so pale now. You look haole.' They try to pull it off like they're joking but joking with knives doesn't always get the laugh response they're looking for.

In fact, two of my childhood nicknames (from realtives, mind you) was "n*gger" and "Jew nose". Yeah, warm and fuzzy, eh? My aunt always thought I got too dark in the sun and came up with the first name. My stepgrandmother came up with the other name, apparently my nose was too big for her liking. I always took the high road and smiled it off, but often I felt like mushing them in mud.

My family's quite unique. At least it seems so...

lizziebith ~ I appreciate what you posted. It made me smile. Thank you. It's one of the nicest compliments I have ever received...

G2D ~ Ahem. Let's just say 10 yrs ago coincided with when I used to rent from VideoWest... If you would keep my selection titles under your Commodore hat, I'd appreciate it.

RStar ~ What wonderful ideas. How great would it be to send my dad some hair dye or my mom some tweezers. It would be so 'Harper Valley PTA' of me to do that. I wouldn't send my little sister anything despite her being in on the tooth fix funding scheme.



I don't know what I'll do yet. I wish I weren't going to a photo heavy wedding in several days. But we'll see.

<----- Hee hee.

[MouseWife]

I'm with NA...sorry, but I am 'laughing out loud' in front of my computer here in my darkened living room....alone....

And to finish me off...your new smilie!!! Too fvcking funny!!!!!

Well...ya know, the way your sis did that, while her hubby was in the bathroom, makes me think he is a nice guy. He probably told her it was wrong of your family to get together like that and that is why she did it behind his back. Is he a nice guy?

Me? I definitely would take offense BUT I would take the money. Dental work is damn expensive. Go to the dentist and see what they he/she might have to say. But, I agree, {I forget who said it} but the money may not come into your hands before your wedding photo weekend....

Family. Oh man. Yeah, they had names for all of us. One that sticks with me is 'spaghetti' {I wasn't one of those}, jinx {that was me}and I can't type all of the other things.

I do have one sister who tops them all. After I married, I started to put on weight...She loved to introduce me as her 'used to be so pretty sister' . After I had my first child she told my husband how could he be with me after I'd gained so much weight? This went on for many years the last time she really got in on me was at a birthday party for my daughter. She went really low and my best friend was there and almost took her down. But, she is my best friend and she just said a few curt words. {as taking her down would have been really ugly...}

Then, when I lost weight, she insisted I was doing drugs. Then she insisted that I was going to TJ and taking 'prescribed' drugs. Then she was mad saying I was keeping my 'secret' from them.

Family.

Makes you love your dog even more, doesn't it?

[RStar]

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

<----- Hee hee.

LOL!

[lashbear]

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

<----- Hee hee.

You're Thilly !!

Hugs.