children on adult's shoulder for fireworks

[cstephens]

This has been something that I've been thinking about for quite some time, but since it happened again Sunday night, it's a bit more immediate at the moment. One of the things that I think of as rude is putting a child on an adult's shoulder during the fireworks or another kind of show like that, where the view of the people behind is now significantly blocked. I'm of the not-tall variety, so when I find a spot to watch the fireworks or Fantasmic or something like that, I pick someone who isn't too much taller than me to stand behind, or if they are taller than me, then at least I know what I'll be missing since I know how much over their head I can see. And then the lights dim, and the show starts. And the person in front of me is now a foot or two taller because he/she now has a child on his/her shoulders, and my view as well as that of some of those around me is now significantly blocked. I've often said something to the adult, but their response is generally "the child can't see", and that seems to be a good enough reason for why a few of us now aren't able to see much of the show.

Is it really just a matter that the child is most important, so any inconvenience to anyone else is entirely irrelevant? "You have an AP, you can see the fireworks/show anytime you want to," some might say. Well, true, I can go back. But I don't think that having an AP means I'm supposed to be standing behind a 7 foot tall child-and-adult every time I watch a show. And what about the non-AP-bearing person next to me who also now can't see over or through the 7 foot tall child-and-adult? What about the child who's too short to see over most people but too big to be picked up at all, who could see something before but is now basically just staring at the people's backs? I get that it's difficult to carry a child high enough so the child can see, especially during a show as long as "Remember", and putting the child on your shoulders is the easiest way to accomplish that, but for me, it still doesn't justify doing it. And in a situation where it's very crowded, it's not even like you can move somewhere else.

I remember watching "Believe" one night, and several rows in front of me, three adults side-by-side all hoisted a child onto each of their shoulders as soon as the lights went down on Main Street. They were far enough in front of me that my view wasn't affected, but there was now this wall on Main Street, blocking the view of quite a few people. I couldn't hear what was being said, but I heard what I presumed to be complaints. None of them budged. The people behind them scrambled to move to different areas to try to see around the wall of adult-and-child.

I like that for the parades, they've made it so you have to sit if you're in the front row, but you stand if you're behind. However, that wouldn't work for the fireworks, as sitting down on Main Street doesn't give much of a view. So what's the solution?

And before anyone brings it up, no, I don't have any kids, and I've not had this problem, and no, I don't know what I would do in a situation where my child couldn't see over adults, but I just can't accept that the only answer is the complete disregard of other people.

[Prudence]

When I was a kid, I sometimes couldn't see and that's how things are. You're a kid. You're short. Period.

Frankly, when I was very young we didn't stay up that late anyhow. Even though we had to fly in, stay in a hotel, yadda yadda, we still went to bed at an appropriate hour. Maybe we got to stay up a little later for a treat, but we weren't out super late.

And I think it's rude. I think it's part of the overall "me first" trend. My kid can't see, therefore I'm entitled to do whatever I want to improve my child's view, regardless of its impact on other people. I want to take flash pictures on the dark ride so I'm going to, regardless of its impact on other riders. My kid really wants this character's autograph so I'm going to cut the line, regardless of the impact on the others who have been waiting.

Some people apparently have never learned the difference between "can" and "should."

[lindyhop]

I agree that's it's just plain rude. Not only does it obstruct the view for so many people but a lot of those people start griping and complaining and that really destroys the mood.

[Tref]

I think it should be the other way around.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Yeah, I agree, not a good thing for people to do. But I've accepted it as a by-product of fireworks shows. Wasn't there a Disneyland commercial at one point that showed a child on a parent's shoulders? It's something people always do at fireworks shows.

I'd say it's equally as annoying as having to show up 3 hours before a show and stake out a spot because everyone else will.

Originally Posted by Prudence

Frankly, when I was very young we didn't stay up that late anyhow. Even though we had to fly in, stay in a hotel, yadda yadda, we still went to bed at an appropriate hour. Maybe we got to stay up a little later for a treat, but we weren't out super late.

Ok, I can't help but have an opinion on this....that totally sucks and I feel sorry for any kid that has something like that imposed on them at Disneyland. It's a vacation! What sort of evil will it do to keep a child up "super late"? Sure, they may end up cranky, but so would the adults. It's no more evil than letting a child eat more sugar than usual, or get a bunch of souveniers, including a balloon that will die at the end of the day or mouse ears that they'll never wear again.

Sorry Pru, that's one of my buttons there.

[Prudence]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

Ok, I can't help but have an opinion on this....that totally sucks and I feel sorry for any kid that has something like that imposed on them at Disneyland. It's a vacation! What sort of evil will it do to keep a child up "super late"? Sure, they may end up cranky, but so would the adults. It's no more evil than letting a child eat more sugar than usual, or get a bunch of souveniers, including a balloon that will die at the end of the day or mouse ears that they'll never wear again.

Sorry Pru, that's one of my buttons there.

See, if you're a kid, chances are you won't even know that there IS a fireworks show unless someone tells you. I'm not talking 10 or 11. I'm talking the pre-k crowd -- lightweight enough to sit on shoulders during the fireworks. There's no feeling of loss if there's no knowledge of anything missing. As a kid, I followed my parents' schedule. That meant early to bed, early to rise. And it's not like we went to bed at 7. [Actually, if my dad had his way we *would* have been in bed at 7 -- and up at 4! Better milk those non-existant cows...) But there were rules and we followed them. Now, the one teevee show a week rule was extreme. But not bedtime at that age. Not after a full day at the park with more fun than we could have ever imagined with mickey mouse pancakes and frozen bananas and dole whips and goodies galore.

Although when I was a pre-teen, it *was* cruel and unusual punishment to make me go on the matterhorn with my brother. Ewww! How was I supposed to meet cute guys with my brother along?

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by Prudence

There's no feeling of loss if there's no knowledge of anything missing.

Well, yeah. The child doesn't need to know about anything else fun either....and then you don't even need to take them to Disneyland at all!

As a kid, I followed my parents' schedule.
<snip>
But there were rules and we followed them.

I'm sorry babe, but the idea of rules like these being kept on a vacation....a Disney vacation....it's beyond my ken.

Now, the one teevee show a week rule was extreme. But not bedtime at that age. Not after a full day at the park with more fun than we could have ever imagined with mickey mouse pancakes and frozen bananas and dole whips and goodies galore.

So what's so horrible about staying up late? What damage would it have done to you? Yes, bedtime is important on school nights. But come on, tucking a child into bed before the fireworks even go off, simply because "that's the rule"? That's just sad in my book.

Although when I was a pre-teen, it *was* cruel and unusual punishment to make me go on the matterhorn with my brother. Ewww! How was I supposed to meet cute guys with my brother along?

Ok, everyone knows that's the absolute worst.

[Prudence]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

So what's so horrible about staying up late? What damage would it have done to you? Yes, bedtime is important on school nights. But come on, tucking a child into bed before the fireworks even go off, simply because "that's the rule"? That's just sad in my book.

Please criticize my parents some more. Because we all know how awful I turned out.

[Not Afraid]

So, when you all have children you can raise them any way you all want to......just like your parents did with you.

Just don't put your kids in your shoulders in front of me.

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

I’m going to disagree, even if I only have a crap argument based on how I feel. Though, first, I'd like to say that your post was really well written and thoughtful and very likely you've weighed in here far better than I'm about to.

If you're in a seated theater, and the people in the front decide to stand up at a concert, it kind of sucks. There are seats. They should sit so you can all sit and enjoy the music. But rather than start a war over it, the people in the back should stand, because shouting, "Sit down up front!" usually just pisses off the musician when he’s in the middle of a quiet piano ballad. Believe me, I experienced this first hand, and it sucked to have my one and only Nick Cave experience spoiled by a bunch of lazy asses sitting around me. If you can’t stand up for Nick Cave, who can you stand up for?! Not everyone can be happy.

I realize there are a lot of adults who love Disneyland. I love the park, too. But I still think of it first and foremost as a place for kids. I understand that putting a kid on someone's shoulders may block the view of other adults and kids, but I don't think they should make a park rule about it.

Also, I don't have kids, so I'm not just thinking about me and mine. It's not like kids at the park - or their parents - don't ever got on my nerves, because I do no have nerves of steel and can easily become annoyed. But at a place like Disneyland, I simply find something to distract me from my annoyance, because I do think it should be more about families and kids than me, a 28 year old girl. Now, is it cool for a kid to pull a temper tantrum and for the parents to turn a blind eye to their child's poor behavior? No. Is it cool to disregard the enjoyment of a 28 year old girl...woman...whatever...just because she's seemingly an adult? No. But I'm not sure what the solution is, so that's why I choose to move myself along to a place where there isn't a kid throwing a tantrum.

I like to imagine the Dad putting his son up on his shoulders is at the park once a year, or once every few years, or only there that one time. And since I live in L.A., I’m not gonna begrudge them that moment. There are a lot of annual pass holders here who can see the park numerous times a year. I realize some of you only get to come down once a year, as well, but you can always move, find a better spot. Be a grown up about it. I can’t understand staring daggers in the back of some dad or mom’s head over it.

I didn’t really get the stroller griping, either. Of course strollers and wheelchairs should be allowed in the park. Maybe some people abuse this; kid too old, injury faked, and maybe some people could be more careful when driving them around, but on the whole, they belong in the park, even if they can be an inconvenience to other park goers. Work around them. Happiest place on earth! Improvise. Leave them a wide berth.

Or, in the case of Kid on Shoulders, find another spot.

Because, like I said, the park might be for the kids in us all, but at its core I really think it’s a place for actual kids. Plus, those fireworks are in the sky. Sure, your view of a parade may be unfairly blocked, but if you’re having trouble seeing the sky where you are, I suggest finding higher ground.

I understand some arguments that the parents are only thinking of themselves and their own child’s happiness. But when I see a parent and kid in preparation stance for a chicken fight, I think of them and their happiness, too.

Perhaps it would be more polite for the parent to check his or her surroundings and then ask, “Hey, does anyone mind if little Suzie sits on my shoulders for a few minutes? She can’t see. I won’t keep her up there the entire time, but it would really mean a lot to us if she could get a clear view for a moment.” Yeah, catch you flies with a widdle bit of honey.

If the Dad were asking me, and he were Southern, he could toss in a little ‘Darlin’, and I’d probably offer to let them both perch atop my shoulders.

Man, I love it when Southerners say ‘Darlin’’.