Tell us about your idiot relatives

[scaeagles]

I'll go first (well, obviously - I'm starting the thread).

My dad - my mom died of lupus, and during her lengthy illness he found it a better use of his time to be with other women.

My wife's two brothers - not enough space to say everything about them, but the most recent incident.....We missed the birthday party of one of their sons after getting an invitation 6 days before the party and we had other uncancellable plans. So now they have united to not come to my son's birthday party to for the admitted purpose of teaching us a lesson. I told them I thought it was funny that they thought it was within their purview or ability to teach us a lesson, and if teaching us a lesson means I don't have to be near them, I hope they continue to do so. They are idiot control freaks who want their butts kissed and I refuse to do it.

What about your moron relatives? What makes them morons?

[tracilicious]

Uh, this post could go on for a few pages.

I'll start with my older brother and his wife. Now, I love my older brother, but 20 years of drug and alcohol abuse combined with a severe head injury when he was 18 have left him not too bright. But he thinks he's really really smart. So between, being on and off drugs, cheating on his wife occassionally, them splitting up then getting back together and deciding to have more kids, I wouldn't really know where to begin. They have two kids right now, and had decided they were done. Well, after the last near divorce they decided to try again for a girl. They claimed to be done. Until the day of the ultrasound. When my sister in law found out it was another boy, she started planning for their fourth! Thankfully, my brother has plans for a vas.

Don't get me wrong, it's none of my business how many kids anyone has, but they are a special circumstance. They were in complete denial of their oldest son's autism until he was 7 and a teacher forced them to go for an evaluation (we had all been asking them to do it practicallys since he was born). They have no money and my brother bounces from job to job. He hasn't worked in a few months because of health problems. That and he's on and off of drugs/alcohol. My sister in law is no genius either. When her oldest was two she wanted to take him to Mexico to get the arches on his feet raised so that he would be a better athlete. Thank God my brother was at least smart enough to put an end to that.

[SacTown Chronic]

Oh gawd, I might be in this thread all day.

...and what a timely thread it is.


I received news yesterday that my lame-o brother ran a red light and wrecked his car in Phoenix. Early word was that he was seriously injured and I was appropriately freaked out and worried. More updates brought news that his injuries were relatively minor (broken ribs, collarbone) and details of the wreck included the words 3am...poker...stopped drinking at midnight (According to the lame-o brother. Did I mention he's a liar?) ...running red lights...no insurance. And now I'm pissed.

And why was he out drinking and playing poker when he should be saving his money because he's getting evicted from the condo he's renting? Because he's a fvckup, that's why. And why did he have his family of seven shoe-horned into a two-bedroom condo for the past several years? Because he finally found someone who would give a lease to a fvckup with bad credit -- and that someone had a two-bedroom condo, that's why.

Ugh. My heart breaks for his kids.

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by SacTown Chronic

Oh gawd, I might be in this thread all day.

Heh, I could spend all day on my family and the next few days on my in-laws. However, I've realized that everyone one of these stories involves drug use, abuse and neglect of kids, law breaking, or any combination of the three. So since that is more depressing than anything, I'll stick to the funnyish stories that I roll my eyes about.

A few weeks ago my mother in law (whom I love to death, and is wonderful) shows up at the house. As Indi runs out to greet her she pulls from behind her back a 20 oz Pepsi and a big grab of Funyuns. She says, "Look what Nani brought you! If your mommy says it's ok..." So I either have a choice of looking incredibly mean and taking the treats that his precious Nani brought him away or letting a three year old have a huge amount of junk food that would make him hyper and miserable all night.

I chose the latter. Thankfully, he shared with Daddy, who managed to eat/drink the majority of it. But still, he's THREE!!!! Who brings a huge soda and bag of chips to a three year old?! She knows how I feel about junk food and that we don't keep it in the house. I think she really feels I am depriving my family. They have food issues though. I've seen her fry a cheese filled hot dog in an inch and a half of corn oil. And she's diabetic.

[scaeagles]

Originally Posted by tracilicious

my mother in law (whom I love to death, and is wonderful)

I have an outstanding relationship with my mother and father in law. They are great people. I have no idea how two of their offspring could be such total idiots.

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by scaeagles

I have an outstanding relationship with my mother and father in law. They are great people. I have no idea how two of their offspring could be such total idiots.

Lol, I know that feeling. My mother and father in law are wonderful. Calm, loving people that mostly keep to themselves. I have no idea what happened to make Michael's sisters the way they are. His brothers are great people, but a bit weird.

[Gemini Cricket]

You really wanna know, huh?

[wendybeth]

(Deep breath.....)




Okay, you asked.

Mother: is psycho- seriously. She has been a functioning prescription pill addict and hypochondriac my entire life, and only recently was diagnosed with about 15 mental disorders. With HEPA and such, there is nothing we can about anything- she continues on her merry way stoned out of her gourd and refusing to take the appropriate meds for her conditions. It's a frikken miracle she's made it to 67.

Brothers: Four of them, all weird in their own special way. Actually, my #2 bro is cool now, but he had his moments while we were growing up. All the others are alcoholics and pervs.

My three sisters, however, are wonderful.

Dad: Left us kids with our psycho mom and went off to form the perfect little family unit of three, focusing all his daddy skills on my little sister and completely neglecting all the other kids. My little sis is cool, though- it's not her fault.

Growing up, we had total freedom to do whatever the hell we wanted, with no direction or supervision. I was out running the streets with my sibs at two in the morning when I was seven years old. Mom used to brag about what great friends she was with her kids. Stories of our unsupervised deeds are legend in this town. For years I was afraid to tell anyone my last name, as my brothers had developed quite a rep with law enforcement. One made it into the newspapers with alarming frequency.

In-Laws: Not enough time or space to even begin with them.....

[Gemini Cricket]

Let's see. There's also the story of my 2 cousins:

Albert Batalona

and

Bernard Crivello

Albert (Al Ray) held up an American Savings Bank in Kahala Mall and fired his semi-automatic at officers reporting to the scene. They found him and his gang because one of them left their grocery store card a car they abandoned. Al Ray escaped from prison after being sentenced to life without parole. They caught him...
An interesting tidbit about Al Ray is that he and his friends cased a Bank of Hawaii that I was working at 2 weeks before the robbery. The idea was to rob my bank, until they found out I was working there. They changed their minds and robbed the Kahala bank instead.
Another interesting tidbit. The officer investigating the incident was also a cousin of mine. My family: cops and robbers... and sometimes both.


Bernard (Chachi) was shot in the head by a cop while he was high on crystal meth. He tried to run over a policeman with a stolen car. My aunt, of course, is suing the cop for defending himself.
At the hospital, I went to see grandma at Bernard's bedside. He was on the bed as is. Repeat... as is. My cousin's head looked like a red flower. It was not pretty.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Boy am I loving my family right about now.