Crotch or A**?

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 08-08-2006, 05:08 PM

One memorable scene from Fight Club was when Tyler Durden, while leaving his airplane seat, says that he's never sure whether to give someone the a**or the crotch.

This same dilemma gives me pause, as well, since I'm frequently riding public transportation.

A pet peeve of mine is when a person in the aisle seat doesn 't stand up to let me pass when I need to exit a window seat. Moving their legs gives me access to the floor space, but it doesn't give my body much room; I'm forced to squeeze up against theirs, and frequently the large bag I carry bangs into their arm or head.

Each time this happens, I also have to decide: a** or crotch. If it's a woman, I usually give her the crotch, because I'm less concerned about a woman being forced into that "face" to face, and it's easier for me to shuffle out of the row that way. If it's a man, giving him the a** feels less intimate; I don't have to see where he's looking as I scoot by. Frankly speaking, at times when I've given the man the crotch, I felt like I was issuing an unintentional invitation.

The pschology is killing me. I must be overly sensitive about personal bubble space, because this kind of thing really keeps me preoccupied. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? A**??? CROTCH??? WHAT?

Why can't these people just stand up? I excuse the elderly or infirm, of course, but others need to give a girl's a** and crotch the privacy they deserve!

After years of this, I finally decided it was time to make actual requests of my fellow passengers, "Could you please stand up and let me pass? I won't be able to get by you, otherwise." Or, I simply point out that it would be easier for us both. Cordial people do so. Others simply ignore me, and to them I purposefully bang against them to show them what for...because I'm sweet like that. Once, when in a really bad mood, I think I actually said, "Fine, but my crotch is going right in your face."

A similar situation arises when the bus is crowded and there are a lot of standing passengers in the aisle. When someone tries to walk by a stationary individual, this individual has two choices:

1. Move forward, pressing one's crotch into to the person seated in an aisle seat.

2. Move back, pressing one's ass into the person seated in an aisle seat.

When I'm the person standing, I think I tend to move forward, thus giving someone the crotch, something I may have to rethink.

Today, I was the person seated in the aisle when a man moved forward to let someone pass behind him, pressing his crotch right into the left side of my face. Now, that seemed a bit much. He was closer to me than was necessary and had intentionally placed his crotch on my face and neck area. I jerked my head over to the left, to show that I was being made uncomfortable. I wanted to say, "Hey, my face isn't a d!ck rest, pal," but a rational part of me assumed I wasn't being molested on purpose, even though we were literally head to head. His belated and muted, "I'm sorry," indicated that he'd suddenly realized I'd been placed in a somewhat uncomfortable situation. He then moved towards the back of the bus.

No harm done.

So...crotch or a**? When forced into a confrontation with either, which do you prefer?

Gemini Cricket · 08-08-2006, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eliza Hodgkins 1812

So...crotch or a**? When forced into a confrontation with either, which do you prefer?

I guess it would depend on what he looked like.

I usually give 'em the a$s. And if they tick me off, I give 'em a poot to boot.

Either that or I just move out into the aisle, let them take off and then I sit down again.

I notice at the movie theatres, people usually give the a$s.

Freaky Tiki · 08-08-2006, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

I notice at the movie theatres, people usually give the a$s.

So that's why movies stink nowadays.

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 08-08-2006, 05:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

I guess it would depend on what he looked like.

I usually give 'em the a$s. And if they tick me off, I give 'em a poot to boot.

Either that or I just move out into the aisle, let them take off and then I sit down again.

I notice at the movie theatres, people usually give the a$s.

Yes, I give the rear at theaters, as well. Too much ground to cover in those situations.

SacTown Chronic · 08-08-2006, 05:42 PM

Unless you're the unfortunate guy who got hit in the head by my nuts at Candlestick Park because I went to the game commando style and I tried to cut the corner and step over his head while stepping down one row and my nads came down like a wrecking ball to his dome, you're getting the ass from me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eliza Hodgkins 1812

Yes, I give the rear at theaters, as well.

Wanna go see a movie sometime?

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 08-08-2006, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SacTown Chronic

Unless you're the unfortunate guy who got hit in the head by my nuts at Candlestick Park because I went to the game commando style and I tried to cut the corner and step over his head while stepping down one row and my nads came down like a wrecking ball to his dome, you're getting the ass from me.

Wanna go see a movie sometime?

First, you accidentally tea bagged someone. LMFAO.

Second, LMFAO. And, sure!

tracilicious · 08-08-2006, 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SacTown Chronic

Wanna go see a movie sometime?

Why? Do you wanna put your balls on her head or something?

Chernabog · 08-08-2006, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tracilicious

Why? Do you wanna put your balls on her head or something?

Didn't you read LoT Board Rule #42: NO TEABAGGING! I'm gonna report your post, sicko!

Fwomp. .... Fwomp. ... Fwomp. ... Fwomp . . Fwomp Fwomp Fwomp. .... fwopmfwomp .... fwopmfwomp .... fwopmfwomp (see, that's what happens when you really get the hips going!)

SEXY.

SzczerbiakManiac · 08-09-2006, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SacTown Chronic

Unless you're the unfortunate guy who got hit in the head by my nuts at Candlestick Park

UNfortunate?!? Dude, I know people (and at least one LoTer) who would pay good money for that "service".

I generally go ass. I think it's slightly less "intimate" than crotch.

Gemini Cricket · 08-08-2006, 05:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eliza Hodgkins 1812

Yes, I give the rear at theaters, as well. Too much ground to cover in those situations.

I guess it would resemble some sort of gang lap dance to crotch the entire row. I mean, you do have to kinda sway back and forth to walk sideways slowly...

08-08-2006, 05:08 PM	#1
Eliza Hodgkins 1812 Sputnik Sweetheart Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Long Beach Posts: 2,685	Crotch or A?** One memorable scene from Fight Club was when Tyler Durden, while leaving his airplane seat, says that he's never sure whether to give someone the aor the crotch. This same dilemma gives me pause, as well, since I'm frequently riding public transportation. A pet peeve of mine is when a person in the aisle seat doesn 't stand up to let me pass when I need to exit a window seat. Moving their legs gives me access to the floor space, but it doesn't give my body much room; I'm forced to squeeze up against theirs, and frequently the large bag I carry bangs into their arm or head. Each time this happens, I also have to decide: a or crotch. If it's a woman, I usually give her the crotch, because I'm less concerned about a woman being forced into that "face" to face, and it's easier for me to shuffle out of the row that way. If it's a man, giving him the a feels less intimate; I don't have to see where he's looking as I scoot by. Frankly speaking, at times when I've given the man the crotch, I felt like I was issuing an unintentional invitation. The pschology is killing me. I must be overly sensitive about personal bubble space, because this kind of thing really keeps me preoccupied. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? A??? CROTCH??? WHAT? Why can't these people just stand up? I excuse the elderly or infirm, of course, but others need to give a girl's a and crotch the privacy they deserve! After years of this, I finally decided it was time to make actual requests of my fellow passengers, "Could you please stand up and let me pass? I won't be able to get by you, otherwise." Or, I simply point out that it would be easier for us both. Cordial people do so. Others simply ignore me, and to them I purposefully bang against them to show them what for...because I'm sweet like that. Once, when in a really bad mood, I think I actually said, "Fine, but my crotch is going right in your face." A similar situation arises when the bus is crowded and there are a lot of standing passengers in the aisle. When someone tries to walk by a stationary individual, this individual has two choices: 1. Move forward, pressing one's crotch into to the person seated in an aisle seat. 2. Move back, pressing one's ass into the person seated in an aisle seat. When I'm the person standing, I think I tend to move forward, thus giving someone the crotch, something I may have to rethink. Today, I was the person seated in the aisle when a man moved forward to let someone pass behind him, pressing his crotch right into the left side of my face. Now, that seemed a bit much. He was closer to me than was necessary and had intentionally placed his crotch on my face and neck area. I jerked my head over to the left, to show that I was being made uncomfortable. I wanted to say, "Hey, my face isn't a d!ck rest, pal," but a rational part of me assumed I wasn't being molested on purpose, even though we were literally head to head. His belated and muted, "I'm sorry," indicated that he'd suddenly realized I'd been placed in a somewhat uncomfortable situation. He then moved towards the back of the bus. No harm done. So...crotch or a? When forced into a confrontation with either, which do you prefer?
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