Another Tasteless Joke :)

CoasterMatt · 04-14-2007, 09:46 PM

Okay...

2 drunk guys are sitting in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building.
One says to the other "I heard that if you jump from here, its safe because the wind currents around the bottom of the building are so strong, that you can't hit the ground."
"Bull****" says the other, "heaps of people die jumping from here."
"Ill prove it to you then" says the first, and promptly jumps out the window.
He falls and falls, and then at around the fifth floor, the wind picks him up and flys him around a bit, and he manages to grab hold and climb in a window. He gets the elevator back up to the bar, where the other who witnessed the whole thing stares at him in amazement.

"I don't believe what I just saw!", he says.

"No problem, Ill do it again" say the first man. He goes over to the window and jumps again. Same thing happens. About the fifth floor, hes picked up by the wind and grabs hold of the building and climbs through a window. Gets the elevator back to the bar, where the other guy's standing slack jawed with surprise.

"Im going to give that a go then" he says. He walks over to the window and jumps out. Down and down he falls, then SPLAT... Street pizza!

The bartender looks at the first guy and says "Hey Superman, you're a real asshole when youre drunk."

wendybeth · 04-14-2007, 10:20 PM

Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks
over at him and asks the question.

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do"

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: ** silence **

HUSBAND: "****."

04-14-2007, 09:46 PM	#1
CoasterMatt BRAAAAAAAINS! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: One Step Beyond... Posts: 8,802	Another Tasteless Joke :) Okay... 2 drunk guys are sitting in a bar at the top of the Empire State Building. One says to the other "I heard that if you jump from here, its safe because the wind currents around the bottom of the building are so strong, that you can't hit the ground." "Bull**" says the other, "heaps of people die jumping from here." "Ill prove it to you then" says the first, and promptly jumps out the window. He falls and falls, and then at around the fifth floor, the wind picks him up and flys him around a bit, and he manages to grab hold and climb in a window. He gets the elevator back up to the bar, where the other who witnessed the whole thing stares at him in amazement. "I don't believe what I just saw!", he says. "No problem, Ill do it again" say the first man. He goes over to the window and jumps again. Same thing happens. About the fifth floor, hes picked up by the wind and grabs hold of the building and climbs through a window. Gets the elevator back to the bar, where the other guy's standing slack jawed with surprise. "Im going to give that a go then" he says. He walks over to the window and jumps out. Down and down he falls, then SPLAT... Street pizza! The bartender looks at the first guy and says "Hey Superman, you're a real asshole when youre drunk." __________________ Do you like my photography?** Visit photosbymatt.tumblr.com to purchase prints!
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04-14-2007, 10:20 PM	#2
wendybeth Nevermind Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,847	Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question. WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again? HUSBAND: "Definitely not!" WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?" HUSBAND: "Of course I do." WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?" HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again." WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look) HUSBAND: (makes audible groan) WIFE: "Would you live in our house?" HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house." WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?" HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?" WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?" HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new." WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?" HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do" WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?" HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own." WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you? HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times." WIFE: "Would she use my clubs? HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed." WIFE: silence HUSBAND: "****." __________________
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