Ah, we meet again, my old friend, Crystal Bic...

LSPoorEeyorick · 12-12-2007, 04:02 PM

Boing Boing is reporting that a nominal amount of shenanigans has occurred on the Amazon customer review section for Bic Crystal pens. A sample:

Quote:

Originally Posted by smartiest assery

Upon receiving my order, I carefully opened the box and dug through the packing peanuts in order to get to the pen contained therein. 'Beautiful!', I thought, and promptly opened up my moleskine notebook to jot down to myself some notes. My previous pen had ran out of ink four weeks prior and I didn't want to splurge on expensive shipping, which meant I had a lot of notes to catch up on writing.

But, when that quality carbide ball touched the surface of the paper, it was not ink that came out. From a distance I heard the screams of men and the cackling of innumerable ravens. I stopped, cold and sweating profusely. I looked down at the Bic Crystal black medium ballpoint pen which I held in my hand, only to see darkness. I dashed it against the wall, recoiling in horror. I saw in the corner of my eye my faithful notebook, which now lay on the ground. Once unmarred, I saw now the small mark which I had made with the devil's own pen. It spread across the page like a plague, and looking at it I gazed upon true horrors. For, what I thought had been ink was in fact a portal to a dark, unforgiving dimension. A portal whose maw was now widening to engulf all hope and joy in the world.

'God, what have I done?' I exclaimed as I weeped and fell to my knees, 'What have I done?'

From beyond the Dark Gate I heard these words, words which I can never forget. A terrible, booming voice said to me, 'Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fthagn!'

I ran, blindly stumbling, away from that place and never looked back. My only hope is that none shall follow in the path I've walked down, too blinded by hubris to realize my follies.

katiesue · 12-12-2007, 04:10 PM

Thanks for the link. Some of those are brilliant.

Morrigoon · 12-12-2007, 04:14 PM

Hahah... wonderful pieces! Who knew you could write so much about a pen!

BarTopDancer · 12-12-2007, 04:28 PM

Great stuff.

In the spirit of the xmas giving season, I give to you the Crystal Bic chandelier.

Morrigoon · 12-12-2007, 04:37 PM

BTD: oh, that is brilliant!

Pirate Bill · 12-12-2007, 10:40 PM

That's awesome!

It reminds me of the product write-ups they do at Woot. (Or shirt.woot or wine.woot)

12-12-2007, 04:10 PM	#2
katiesue Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: San Diego Posts: 4,678	Thanks for the link. Some of those are brilliant. __________________ My life is so exciting I can hardly stand it.
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12-12-2007, 04:14 PM	#3
Morrigoon I throw stones at houses Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Location: Location Posts: 9,534	Hahah... wonderful pieces! Who knew you could write so much about a pen! __________________ http://bash.org/?top "It is useless for sheep to pass a resolution in favor of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion." -- William Randolph Inge
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12-12-2007, 04:28 PM	#4
BarTopDancer Prepping... Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Here, there, everywhere Posts: 11,405	Great stuff. In the spirit of the xmas giving season, I give to you the Crystal Bic chandelier. __________________ Spork is the new MacGyver Postcards From My Edge
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12-12-2007, 04:37 PM	#5
Morrigoon I throw stones at houses Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Location: Location Posts: 9,534	BTD: oh, that is brilliant! __________________ http://bash.org/?top "It is useless for sheep to pass a resolution in favor of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion." -- William Randolph Inge
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12-12-2007, 10:40 PM	#6
Pirate Bill Quality since 1973 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Right here Posts: 473	That's awesome! It reminds me of the product write-ups they do at Woot. (Or shirt.woot or wine.woot)
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