The Time Has Come...The PORK

[David E]

The time has come to talk of many things...

The annual Winter Solstice Pork will be the night of Saturday Dec. 27. It will be fun. All are welcome, if you want an invitation, send me a personal message or email me a 3 to 30,000 word essay on why you deserve to come. Email: airform13@hotmail.com.

[Betty]

I'm not versed on this solstice pork of which you speak. Will you dare to enlighten the uninformed?

[Moonliner]

You can find details on "The Pork" in this thread...

The history of The Pork

[Chernabog]

I thought this was gonna be a thread about how we should all switch to pork from bacon, and I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

...

but this seems more wholesome. Carry on.

[blueerica]

:-O

I should... be... there... and not... here. *sigh*

[Not Afraid]

PORK!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ghoulish Delight]

I. Want. To. Go. To. There.

[David E]

The Pork explanation was posted in a different Forum in June (unseasonably early) because the subject of bacon happened to come up. Since this is more the time and place, I will reprint it here for convenience:


Look, when it comes to bacon...well, let's just say I have a little experience here, this year being the 30th anniversary of the annual party I host wherein Pork is used as a noun used as a verb that turned back into a proper noun...It's called the Winter Solstice Pork, or simply "The Pork".
_______
Now about the Pork: In 2002, I came across a website about Bacon Day, which was a kind of annual party a couple of college girls in Wisconsin did which was very similar to the Pork we had been doing in California. I was pretty excited and emailed them the explanation of ours, which I am re-printing below for the information of LoT members. I never heard back from them, seems they abandoned the website. Or maybe they were startled and afraid. I did a search again tonight and did find another Bacon Day (http://blog.lib.umn.edu/mack0257/thi...k/008809.html), which seems to be WEEKLY like laundry day or something, which I have to say rules compared to my lazy once-a-year thing. Anyway, here it is:

----------------------------
December 2002

Dear Meff and D,

The other day, while conducting a routine internet search for pork related products, I came across your website describing Bacon Day. I thought you might be interested in knowing that we have a remarkably similar holiday here on the west coast, which is celebrated on the Saturday nearest the 21st of December each year. It is probably no coincidence that during the winter months, due to millions of years of genetic programming and our common Northern European heritage, the human heart yearns for things roasted and cracklin’.

History of the first Winter Solstice Pork:
The year was 1978 (or 1979). The night: the longest of the year, the Winter Solstice. The Simpsons had not been invented yet, only Life in Hell. In the small, boring town of San Clemente, CA, two boys, high school seniors, who for the sake of anonymity we will call “David Ewing” and “Tony Vick”, sat in Tony’s parents’ condo with nothing to do on a weekend night. They were dateless (as usual) and had no ride to Los Angeles to hear punk rock shows. The night was bitter cold, with temperatures dropping well below the mid-50’s.

So basically, they sat at a table and ate everything in the house. There are no records of what all was eaten, and the only items they can remember are a box of Nabisco Nilla Wafers, and several frozen Ramona brand burritos. Although actual pork may not have been consumed, Pork was there in spirit. Given the coincidence with the celestial event, and having nothing better to do, they decided to create an annual holiday from it.

History of all the other Winter Solstice Porks:
The next year was a huge bash at David’s parents’ house with two punk/art rock bands and far too much food brought by guests.
Among the delicacies served were:
Cold blue spaghetti
Jello with toy army men suspended in it.
A fabulous large punchbowl with twinkling colored Christmas lights sandwiched between two clear bowls.
Cakes decorated with pig-like themes.

About once an hour, somebody kept switching off the power at the electrical panel. There was a superdrunk woman who for some reason was dressed in full marching band regalia with a tall hat and gold epilets and braided cords and a huge crudgel-like baton (the kind the person leading the parade kind of moves about 9” from side to side but is too heavy to throw or anything). In the aftermath, there was a 4” layer of popcorn on the kitchen floor, but it was a memorable success, and the holiday was firmly established (even though we have skipped some years when we felt like it). The goings on at all the other parties I will have to say are a closely guarded secret. (So as to make them seem even more glamorous and appealing).

I have attached a couple of recent invitations that were sent as jpgs, thereby eliminating the ignorant Luddites who don’t have email. This year, we are excluding even more of our friends who can’t play the Quicktime movie invitation. I will send it to you soon.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Originally Posted by David E

The Pork explanation was posted in a different Forum in June (unseasonably early) because the subject of bacon happened to come up.

Bacon? Never heard of it.

[Morrigoon]

Originally Posted by David E

the subject of bacon happened to come up.

Cut. Print. Quoted.