Ladies, I'm Not Your Gay Boyfriend

3894 · 09-07-2009, 01:59 PM

(I looked to see if the LoT has talked about this and couldn't find it. If I'm just repeating, please forgive.)

So here's the Salon.com article. Maybe you also heard Thomas Rogers about this on NPR.

Two main ideas in the article: 1) fag hags of yore were a completely different type than the young fag hags of today who are looking not for a friend but for elbow candy and 2) it's time for the gay-man-as accessory to go the way of the sassy-black-friend-as-accessory.

I am much more the Bette Midler generation and type than the young women Rogers is describing, so I have no idea if he's accurate. What do you think?

LSPoorEeyorick · 09-07-2009, 06:00 PM

I read that article recently, too. And it annoyed me. I think it has a very narrow view of people. I do know my share of current teens, but regardless of age, I don't know a lot of people who look for arm candy instead of actual connection. Perhaps this is because I have no interest in that kind of people so I actively avoid them.

I've done my share of hagging, you might say, but it was never because I wanted specifically to be a hag. I happen to love musical theater and things that are campy. I grew up around the proscenium arch. It so happens that I had friends female, gay and straight, and friends male, gay and straight, who gathered around rehearsal rooms. And we all acted pretty much the same, no matter what gender of person we fancied.

I also note that I have plenty of friends who are gay who have nothing to do with theater or camp. I'm friends with them because we connect. And it has NOTHING to do with accessorizing.

Retro enamel pins are for accessorizing. People are for witty banter, shared interests and emotional support.

Strangler Lewis · 09-08-2009, 06:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LSPoorEeyorick

I grew up around the proscenium arch.

where you would listen to the music of the night.

Gemini Cricket · 09-07-2009, 10:33 PM

Ooh. Theatre Camp. That would have been fun if they had that when I was a kid.

Morrigoon · 09-07-2009, 11:43 PM

Haha... according to the article, I still qualify as a fag hag

innerSpaceman · 09-08-2009, 10:49 AM

Of course I don't know any women such as are portrayed in the article. I'm of the wrong generation for that. But I don't doubt it's happening, and it's a good thing.

The need for "authentic" fag hags is coming to an end. That's the good thing I mean. The fact that some stupid girls want gay men as accessories and not friends is a bad part of the inevitable mainstreaming of faghagdom ... the same mainstreaming that will render the role pretty much extinct.

Oh gay guys will still have really close female friends. But the shared outsider status is something that thankfully is experienced by fewer and fewer young gay boys. Huzzah to that. Yes, the new term will be the more accurate "friend." Huzzah to that as well.

Not Afraid · 09-09-2009, 09:58 PM

I will never be extinct.

BarTopDancer · 09-10-2009, 12:19 AM

It was really interesting watching the perceptions of friends teenage daughters change once my other friend came out. Other friend went from "friend of our parents" to "huggable". We used to joke about him being trendy to them.

Oh and Friends did more to damage NYC apartment perceptions then W&G did.

3894 · 09-10-2009, 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by BarTopDancer

Oh and Friends did more to damage NYC apartment perceptions then W&G did.

OMG, that "Friends" apt! Whose credit cards were more maxed out - the Friends or Carrie Bradshaw's?

BarTopDancer · 09-10-2009, 07:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3894

OMG, that "Friends" apt! Whose credit cards were more maxed out - the Friends or Carrie Bradshaw's?

Yes.

Though in the show's defense, the apartment that Monica and Rachel (then Monica and Chandler) lived in was rent controlled and sub-leased from her grandma or something. But 'the one across the hall' wasn't.

09-07-2009, 01:59 PM	#1
3894 Next Stop: Funkytown! Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Cheeselandia Posts: 1,907	Ladies, I'm Not Your Gay Boyfriend (I looked to see if the LoT has talked about this and couldn't find it. If I'm just repeating, please forgive.) So here's the Salon.com article. Maybe you also heard Thomas Rogers about this on NPR. Two main ideas in the article: 1) fag hags of yore were a completely different type than the young fag hags of today who are looking not for a friend but for elbow candy and 2) it's time for the gay-man-as accessory to go the way of the sassy-black-friend-as-accessory. I am much more the Bette Midler generation and type than the young women Rogers is describing, so I have no idea if he's accurate. What do you think? __________________ "I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the smolder." - Flynn Rider, "Tangled"
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09-07-2009, 06:00 PM	#2
LSPoorEeyorick scribblin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in the moment Posts: 3,872	I read that article recently, too. And it annoyed me. I think it has a very narrow view of people. I do know my share of current teens, but regardless of age, I don't know a lot of people who look for arm candy instead of actual connection. Perhaps this is because I have no interest in that kind of people so I actively avoid them. I've done my share of hagging, you might say, but it was never because I wanted specifically to be a hag. I happen to love musical theater and things that are campy. I grew up around the proscenium arch. It so happens that I had friends female, gay and straight, and friends male, gay and straight, who gathered around rehearsal rooms. And we all acted pretty much the same, no matter what gender of person we fancied. I also note that I have plenty of friends who are gay who have nothing to do with theater or camp. I'm friends with them because we connect. And it has NOTHING to do with accessorizing. Retro enamel pins are for accessorizing. People are for witty banter, shared interests and emotional support.
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09-07-2009, 10:33 PM	#4
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	Ooh. Theatre Camp. That would have been fun if they had that when I was a kid.
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09-07-2009, 11:43 PM	#5
Morrigoon I throw stones at houses Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Location: Location Posts: 9,534	Haha... according to the article, I still qualify as a fag hag __________________ http://bash.org/?top "It is useless for sheep to pass a resolution in favor of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion." -- William Randolph Inge
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09-08-2009, 10:49 AM	#6
innerSpaceman Kink of Swank Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Inner Space Posts: 13,075	Of course I don't know any women such as are portrayed in the article. I'm of the wrong generation for that. But I don't doubt it's happening, and it's a good thing. The need for "authentic" fag hags is coming to an end. That's the good thing I mean. The fact that some stupid girls want gay men as accessories and not friends is a bad part of the inevitable mainstreaming of faghagdom ... the same mainstreaming that will render the role pretty much extinct. Oh gay guys will still have really close female friends. But the shared outsider status is something that thankfully is experienced by fewer and fewer young gay boys. Huzzah to that. Yes, the new term will be the more accurate "friend." Huzzah to that as well.
	Submit to Quotes

09-09-2009, 09:58 PM	#7
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	I will never be extinct.
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09-10-2009, 12:19 AM	#8
BarTopDancer Prepping... Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Here, there, everywhere Posts: 11,405	It was really interesting watching the perceptions of friends teenage daughters change once my other friend came out. Other friend went from "friend of our parents" to "huggable". We used to joke about him being trendy to them. Oh and Friends did more to damage NYC apartment perceptions then W&G did. __________________ Spork is the new MacGyver Postcards From My Edge
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