The Schiavo issue

[Nephythys]

I also think alot of people are going to do their damndest to believe the Dr's who say she feels nothing, and believe the husband is doing what she wanted- because to believe otherwise is too horrific to handle.

It's amazing what we will do to justify, even when we only know the small details fed to us through news stories.

[Disneyphile]

Originally Posted by BarTopDancer

You can't force someone into treatment for their eating disorder. Well you can but it won't be effective. They have to want to change and want to stop it. So even if he did try it doesn't mean it worked.

Well, usually eating disorders are caused by low self-esteem issues. For starters, he could have gotten her counseling. And, even showed her how beautiful and sexy she was. Granted, self esteem issues stem from within, and won't go away until the person actually believes it themselves. (The latter again being taken from personal experience - mine. I can't recall how many times I'd feel "miserable" about my size. Now, I know I'm beautiful, and don't need anyone to tell me, since I'm quite happy with just being me. ) And, if she still showed no hope of improving, then he could have had her hospitalized, considering the life-and-death seriousness of eating disorders.

Also, according to a former girlfriend of his, he used to come down on Terri for being "too fat". I don't think that's being very "supportive".

[BarTopDancer]

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

Well, usually eating disorders are caused by low self-esteem issues. For starters, he could have gotten her counseling. And, even showed her how beautiful and sexy she was. Granted, self esteem issues stem from within, and won't go away until the person actually believes it themselves. (The latter again being taken from personal experience - mine. I can't recall how many times I'd feel "miserable" about my size. Now, I know I'm beautiful, and don't need anyone to tell me, since I'm quite happy with just being me. ) And, if she still showed no hope of improving, then he could have had her hospitalized, considering the life-and-death seriousness of eating disorders.

Also, according to a former girlfriend of his, he used to come down on Terri for being "too fat". I don't think that's being very "supportive".

I had a very good friend who had an eating disorder. And she had the most supportative boyfriend. They aren't just caused by low self-esteem issues. There are many other issues that are or could be involved. And to say that he could have hospilitazed her and that would have fixed everything is is just nieve.

We don't know that he didn't get her help. We don't know that she wasn't hospitalized.

[BarTopDancer]

Originally Posted by Nephythys

I also think alot of people are going to do their damndest to believe the Dr's who say she feels nothing, and believe the husband is doing what she wanted- because to believe otherwise is too horrific to handle.

It's amazing what we will do to justify, even when we only know the small details fed to us through news stories.

I can't believe that people are trying to circumvent a law that your spouse is your next of kin and makes all medical decisions regarding your care because to believe otherwise is too horrific to handle.

It really is amazing what we will to justify, even when we only know the small portion fed through news stories.

[Mousey Girl]

I have read through this, even the blogger link that was posted earlier. BTD, I agree with everything you have said. I only wish there was another way for her to go... Locally this is getting some extra air time. A woman who was sideswiped while coming down the grapevine 2 years ago and had been in a coma ever since is now awake and talking. Any hope for Terry's recovery is long gone.

[Disneyphile]

Originally Posted by BarTopDancer

They aren't just caused by low self-esteem issues.

Hence why I didn't say *all*. "Usually" does not mean "all".

And to say that he could have hospilitazed her and that would have fixed everything is is just nieve.

Nope. Sorry, but believing there was a *possibility* that her being in the hospital for her disorder just *may* have prevented her collapse is NOT "nieve" (naive). It's called using one's brain while trying to come up with solutions.

Oh, and you're not the only person who knows someone with or having had an eating disorder. Thanks. Maybe I should have mentioned that I once got help through Overeaters' Anonymous at one point (I used to eat "Claim Jumper" sized meals about twice a day, and couldn't go 30 minutes without some kind of food. I'm quite happy those days are long gone.). And yes, I ended up with the problem due to very low self-esteem, which was fed by my highly chauvanistic, controlling, and belittling ex-husband, who couldn't get over the fact that I "just wasn't nice to look at as the girls at the strip bars", which he would tell me all the time.

[Morrigoon]

I think where this becomes an issue is because his behavior does not seem to support the idea that this is what she always wanted. If this is what she always wanted, why was she on it for so long? If this is what she always wanted, why did he make promises for getting her care during the lawsuit he filed for damages? Why, after being awarded damages in said lawsuit, did he immediately place her in a hospice and refuse all recovery-oriented treatment for her?

Having seen Terry herself in all these many tv clips, I for one, do not consider her to be completely "gone". There does seem to be something of a reaction in her, and she requires only the feeding tube to keep her nourished. It's not like she's on a breathing machine or anything. Nor does she appear to be in any physical pain.

Now, you could argue that if he wasn't watching out for her best interests, why wouldn't he just divorce her, hand her over to her family and get on with his life - simple: money. First of all, there's the money he was awarded in the lawsuit, if divorced, half to all of it would be awarded to her, along with her half of all their marriage assets. Second, if she has any kind of a life insurance policy worth anything, and if he's not specifically mentioned as her beneficiary (eg: if it's just in her "estate", as many policies are), then by divorcing her, he would not get any of that upon her death, whenever that would be. On the other hand, by legally "allowing her to die", he stands to receive all the lawsuit money, all their marriage assets, and anything in her estate.

Lest you misunderstand me, I am all for euthanasia, where one is terminally ill and the remainder of one's life is so painful as to render it unworthy of suffering (eg: where there's no hope of feeling any better, and every expectation of feeling worse until death comes - different from a permanent, static disability). She is not terminally ill, and is but a feeding tube away from living out the rest of her years. Years, which ought to be funded by the money won in the lawsuit, which we all know he'd rather keep to himself despite his promises to use the money to care for her and try to help her improve.

Administering euthanasia by lethal injection or by cutting off a breathing machine (yes, I know suffocation isn't pleasant, but at least it's only a few minutes) is one thing. Making someone starve to death or die of dehydration, especially when they are unable to tell you if they feel the pain of that method of dying, and when there's at least a 50/50 chance that they DO.... that's just every kind of wrong.

I'm not cool with letting her die in the first place, because I think there is at least some consciousness on her part, but if they MUST do it, then for heaven's sake, end the suffering with lethal injection!

[scaeagles]

Great and incredibly well thought out post.

[CoasterMatt]

Wonderful post, Morrigoon

[Not Afraid]

I'm just wondering how long it is going to take her to die. Does that make me a bad person?