Patently Rediculous

blueerica · 03-22-2007, 04:12 PM

Cordless Jump Rope

Psychic Seeds Entertaining Growth System

www.patentlysilly.com

I may have found a new site to make love to.

Tramspotter · 03-22-2007, 04:45 PM

Make love to the site eh? I hope you aren't talking about thisthen.

Betty · 03-22-2007, 05:05 PM

Holy Cow Tramspotter. (I don't know that I've ever used that phrase before but I think that link merits it! Just how does one invent something like that? I'd like to see their thought process... was he smokin' out one day and having sex at the same time and the light bulb went off - somehow- lol ?

Kevy Baby · 03-22-2007, 07:40 PM

This is a strange world

Strangler Lewis · 03-22-2007, 08:43 PM

I recall reading in law school how someone had patented the combover.

Snowflake · 03-23-2007, 10:54 AM

Well, since I'm in the patent business, I've seen more than my share of silly and stupid patents. They range from the "How to Lift A Box" patent to the one an attorney in our office wrote the application for, "musical condom" (it played among other tunes, stars and stripes forver at the climax, that must have been impressive) and everything else in between. Some patents are incredibly laughable, especially some of the older patents. Back in the day I used to keep a file of some favorites. When I left my 10 year law firm when I moved to VA, they got pitched in error. One, was a particular favorite. It was a patent for a device that would induce a criminal to confess their crime. The device was a machine that would take up one wall of a room (sort of like a one way mirror), the police would interrogate the criminal suspect, the room would be dark, and on this wall, in the machine resided a skeleton, a police detective would turn on the machine, the ghostly form would illuminate, and the result would be to scare the poor criminal into confessing his crime, the cops would book him and the world would be a safer place. I've tried periodically to find this online at the PTO without success, it's there, it was issued in 1930 and the inventor was a woman from Oakland, CA. The drawings for this patent were hysterical. I'll have to keep looking, it's a keeper.

One of the more interesting things to see were the actual patent models for inventions. Another firm I worked at briefly (my attorney was a genius, triple Ph.D., but no people skills whatever) but along the long hallway (they were in the Ferry Building, great to hear the ferries and be able to open the windows and get fresh air off the bay, heaven) they had a collection of patent models for things including a coffin with a glass aperture so you could view the dearly departed, a prosthetic arm, all sorts of machinary I could never identify, but everything worked. They were endlessly fascinating and all pre-1920.

Okay, back to the boring PCT application on my desk.

Snowflake · 03-23-2007, 12:07 PM

Ha! Given inspiration of LoT and the European Patent Office to search on query terms (USPTO only has full text back to 1976) and EPO you can search in the abstract (summary of the invention in quick and dirty text) and I remembered the year of the issuance of the patent, voila, I give you the invention entitled "Apparatus for Obtaining Criminal Confessions and Photographically Recording Them" invented by Helene A.Shelby. It was filed in 1927 and issued in 1930. No record of it being licensed or constructed.

Here's the first two paragraphs of the description in patent-speak:

Quote:

The present invention relates to a new and useful apparatus for obtaining confessions from culprits, or those suspected of the commission of crimes, and photographically recording them, in the form of sound waves, in conjunction with their pictures, depicting their every expression and emotion, to be preserved for later reproduction as evidence against them.

The primary object of my invention is the provision of an apparatus for the creation of illusory effects calculated to impress the subject with the being of a supernatural character and so to work upon his imagination as to enable an inquisitor operating in conjunction with the recording system to obtain confessions and graphically record them by light action under the control of electric impulses governed by varying intensities of sound waves.

No doubt, a noble effort. If you are interested, PM and I can email you the PDF of the patent and the figures.

it's silly, it's dumb, it makes me happy to have found this again.

Alex · 03-23-2007, 12:10 PM

The skeleton thing is 1,749,090. It was filed by Helene Adelaide Shelby and the patent was issued March 4, 1930.

You can view it more conveniently than at the USPTO site here.

ETA: Google Patent Search is full text all the way back as well so you might find it useful.

Snowflake · 03-23-2007, 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Stroup

The skeleton thing is 1,749,090. It was filed by Helene Adelaide Shelby and the patent was issued March 4, 1930.

You can view it more conveniently than at the USPTO site here.

Well, that works! Now I know about Googling patents, silly me! Honest, I didn't know!

Alex · 03-23-2007, 12:14 PM

According to people I know who work regularly with the commercial patent databases, Google Patents leaves something to be desired. But as a non-professional I've found it very handy.

03-22-2007, 04:12 PM	#1
blueerica Nueve Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 6,497	Patently Rediculous Cordless Jump Rope Psychic Seeds Entertaining Growth System www.patentlysilly.com I may have found a new site to make love to. __________________ Tomorrow is the day for you and me
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03-22-2007, 04:45 PM	#2
Tramspotter Show me on the bear. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: LA Posts: 445	Make love to the site eh? I hope you aren't talking about thisthen.
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03-22-2007, 05:05 PM	#3
Betty Kicking up my heels! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: The Silver State Posts: 3,783	Holy Cow Tramspotter. (I don't know that I've ever used that phrase before but I think that link merits it! Just how does one invent something like that? I'd like to see their thought process... was he smokin' out one day and having sex at the same time and the light bulb went off - somehow- lol ? __________________ Nee Stell Thue
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03-22-2007, 07:40 PM	#4
Kevy Baby Chowder Head Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Yes Posts: 18,500	This is a strange world __________________ The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot verify their validity. - Abraham Lincoln
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03-22-2007, 08:43 PM	#5
Strangler Lewis Doing The Job Join Date: Aug 2006 Location: In a state Posts: 3,956	I recall reading in law school how someone had patented the combover. __________________ Live now-pay later. Diner's Club!
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03-23-2007, 10:54 AM	#6
Snowflake lost in the fog Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: San Francisco Posts: 7,831	Well, since I'm in the patent business, I've seen more than my share of silly and stupid patents. They range from the "How to Lift A Box" patent to the one an attorney in our office wrote the application for, "musical condom" (it played among other tunes, stars and stripes forver at the climax, that must have been impressive) and everything else in between. Some patents are incredibly laughable, especially some of the older patents. Back in the day I used to keep a file of some favorites. When I left my 10 year law firm when I moved to VA, they got pitched in error. One, was a particular favorite. It was a patent for a device that would induce a criminal to confess their crime. The device was a machine that would take up one wall of a room (sort of like a one way mirror), the police would interrogate the criminal suspect, the room would be dark, and on this wall, in the machine resided a skeleton, a police detective would turn on the machine, the ghostly form would illuminate, and the result would be to scare the poor criminal into confessing his crime, the cops would book him and the world would be a safer place. I've tried periodically to find this online at the PTO without success, it's there, it was issued in 1930 and the inventor was a woman from Oakland, CA. The drawings for this patent were hysterical. I'll have to keep looking, it's a keeper. One of the more interesting things to see were the actual patent models for inventions. Another firm I worked at briefly (my attorney was a genius, triple Ph.D., but no people skills whatever) but along the long hallway (they were in the Ferry Building, great to hear the ferries and be able to open the windows and get fresh air off the bay, heaven) they had a collection of patent models for things including a coffin with a glass aperture so you could view the dearly departed, a prosthetic arm, all sorts of machinary I could never identify, but everything worked. They were endlessly fascinating and all pre-1920. Okay, back to the boring PCT application on my desk.
	Submit to Quotes

03-23-2007, 12:10 PM	#8
Alex . Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 13,354	The skeleton thing is 1,749,090. It was filed by Helene Adelaide Shelby and the patent was issued March 4, 1930. You can view it more conveniently than at the USPTO site here. ETA: Google Patent Search is full text all the way back as well so you might find it useful.
	Submit to Quotes

03-23-2007, 12:14 PM	#10
Alex . Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 13,354	According to people I know who work regularly with the commercial patent databases, Google Patents leaves something to be desired. But as a non-professional I've found it very handy.
	Submit to Quotes