Surrogacy

[blueerica]

I don't know if the topic belongs here. If at any point, anyone deems it necessary to move, then please do - my feelings will be far from hurt.

I'm preparing a presentation on surrogacy and it didn't occur to me until now that there might be a wealth of experience, information and considerations right here. My topics are the ethical implications and legal aspects of surrogacy, in the United States and worldwide.

There seems to be a lot of ambiguity on the subject of surrogacy. Few places seem to have definitive laws on the subject and in the U.S., it varies from state to state. New York bans all surrogate contracts, and though California has no law on it, it apparently has a lassaiz-faire attitude on the whole topic, and is known for a new wave of "fertility vacations." Most states fall somewhere in between. Abroad, citizenship issues abound for those who have a surrogate mother giving birth elsewhere, and other countries make it so that there is an adoption process involved. In Canada, it is illegal to compensate egg donors - or more clearly, it's not illegal to sell eggs, but it's illegal to buy them - making it difficult for male homosexual couples to find an optimal surrogate situation.

And since we have an Aussie among us (though I'm not even sure he'd read this), Australia's laws on the subject vary wildly. Most states in Oz have surrogacy illegal to varying degrees, while some have no laws and apparently it is legal. Mainly, the variances in law have to do with a number of ethical issues surrounding surrogacy involving "intended parents" changing their minds, surrogate mothers changing their minds, and whether payment constitutes a "reproductive prostitution."

All of this comes from the mostly cold documents I've read. Though there are a number of sites soaked with tears and love, I'm hesitant to read too much into it, as they're often more cutesy and less factual.

So, yeah, like I said - all of this has me wondering what LoT-ers might have to say on the subject. After the discussion on abortion, I have been reminded once more that our experiences, origins and lifestyles really give a unique perspective to just about any topic, and I'd much like to hear what you guys have to say... if there's anything to say at all.

Do you think surrogacy, sperm and egg donorship are ethical? Unethical? Do you even know much about the topic? Do you know someone who has gone through it?

[alphabassettgrrl]

I looked into it once, to be a surrogate, but they only want women who have already birthed a child so I don't qualify.

Thinking about it, when there are no unwanted children, and no children left who need homes, and overpopulation not a concern, then I would consider this a more valid option. But currently there are *so* many of us, and so many children needing families, that to deliberately birth a child you don't want seems irresponsible.

I realize wanting a child and not being able to have one causes a lot of heartbreak, but I don't think surrogacy is the answer. A child being "yours" isn't caused by genetics, it's caused by being there for all the bumps and bruises and learning experiences of that child's life.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

I don't really mind if people out there use surrogate partners, either through donation, artificial semination or other means. I know that some people are unable to see adopted/foster children as their own, and that shouldn't necessarily prevent them from having a family if they wish.

If we decide to have children but are unable to conceive, I think I would prefer to adopt or foster, as opposed to other methods, because so many children need homes and loving families.

[blueerica]

You know, I think I really could have struck a nerve if I'd have said something really controversial.

Then again, that's not me to be on one side or the other. So pretend I did, and let's have at it! Or not.

What do you think of women that perform surrogacy for a living, of sorts? One article I read was about a woman that chooses to be a surrogate mom because she likes the feeling of being pregnant.

[Prudence]

I wonder if it's cheaper/easier to arrange for a surrogate than to arrange a traditional adoption? I haven't looked in to adoption that much, but it seems like you basically have to be perfect, rich, etc.... to adopt. Plus, with surrogacy (assuming use of sperm/egg from parents-to-be - renting womb only) you wouldn't necessarily have the same concerns about hidden genetic problems. Or at least they'd be your own hidden genetic problems and not deceit from baby brokers.

[Prudence]

Furthermore, there are people operating legally as, essentially, baby brokers. "Selling" entire infants (although they don't call it that, and claim such is illegal and it's all "fees" or whatever.) So, why should selling the constituent parts - whether genetic material or renting incubator space - be a problem?

[Ponine]

I do know someone who has gone through it, and more than once with the same family, and with a less than ideal situation, and pregnancy.

What are you looking for information wise on people who have been through the process?
I was right there with her, I can rehash anything you like.


Is it ethical? Personally, I think that it is. In this case the family had tried own their own, four times with a doctor, and were on their third surrogate.

[Morrigoon]

Reproductive prostitution? I suppose you could say that, but then you'd also have to call professional football players athletic prostitutes. After all, in both cases you're having a serious effect on your entire body, and living a lifestyle that corresponds to maintaining that body in the correct condition to perform the job (eg: dieting, carb-loading, prenatal vitamins, whatever suits the "job")

[Not Afraid]

I know 2 couples who have used a surrogate to have children. Both couples are gay men who can't do it on their own. In one case, the surrogate had triplets - 2 of the children are from one partner and the other is from the other partner. I LOVE their story.

[Kevy Baby]

I made regular donations to my wife.