Panhandlers

[Kevy Baby]

First, if the title is considered a derogatory term, please excuse my oversite: it is not the moniker that I wanted to discuss.

I am curious about other peoples' views on people approach you asking for money. I am not talking about relatives, I mean the people on the street, it the local fast-food joint, etc.

Generally speaking, I do not give money to these people; in fact, I can't remember the last time I did. From somewhere in my past, I recall the general recommendation to not give money as it encourages the behavior. But on the other hand, I want to be able to help someone truly in need.

I remember a recent episode where I was buying some fast food for the road and a man who was apparently homeless car in to get some water. I don't remember the specifics, but shortly after he left, I had a nagging feeling that I should have helped him; bought him a meal. When I was leaving, I looked around for him, but he as gone.

I thought about him for most of my drive home, really regretting that I didn't help. There was something about him that just stuck with me.

I am curious what other people think on this topic.

[katiesue]

We used to live in Hollywood - so a lot of them. And the same holds true here as well. They're the same people on the same street corners. Yes a lot of people do need help. And there are a lot of places that do help them. I'd rather donate to the services that help than on an individual basis.

[BarTopDancer]

I've been thinking about this a lot as there seem to be more and more on the street corners near my office. There is one older man who stands out with a posterboard and his dog begging for money for his dogs insulin that he can't afford on his social security. The sign has the name and number of the vet and my coworker has called, he's legit.

There was a man standing in the Lowe's parking lot, right in front of a McDonalds. I always told myself if he was there when I came out of the gym I'd buy him lunch, but he never was or he was but I didn't have $5 to my name at that moment.

On Friday I was taking Harbor to Disneyland and passed a man that has stayed with me. I thought "If I had something smaller than this $20 I'd give them something, but I need the $20". I "needed" the $20 to go to the bar. At Disneyland.

I did give money to someone standing on the offramp of the 405 and Irvine Center Drive. I actually got to the Target parking lot, turned around, drove back and gave him the $20 from my wallet. Maybe it was because he was around my age and just looked so defeated that I just knew he needed that more than I did. I've also given a couple bucks to a several people with signs "why lie, I want weed and beer".

I think surviving unemployment only because I had the help of my parents and some very generous friends really opened my eyes to what I "need" my spending money for. I can't give to everyone but damn, do I really "need" those two margaritas while someone is standing in the cold begging? Maybe they'll buy food or maybe they'll score some drugs. I think these days more people would buy food rather than drugs or booze.

[Morrigoon]

Because you really can't tell who's who, and unless you have unlimited means, you can't just give to everybody, I have a rule about who I give to - street entertainers.

They don't necessarily have to be any good, for example at the Tampa offramp from the 118 there used to be a guy with a clarinet... probably had no clue how to work the thing, but we found his godawful blatting so entertaining that as far as I was concerned, he had earned my dollar. This also goes for the occasional really awesome sign (but they'd better be really creative). One guy was near my current offramp in the last year or two with a sign that said "My Lear Jet ran out of fuel" and signed it "Hobo John". He got my dollar.

[RStar]

My brother lives off of his social security dissability, which only gets him through about 3 weeks of food, motel, and his HIV meds. I do what I can, but he is often living on the streets with hardly 10 cents in his pocket. He will use shelters and soup kitchens, but with doctor appointments and hospital trips he can miss the deadline (some require you to check in by 2pm for a place to sleep!). He has no teeth, is 6 ft tall, and is hardly 140 lbs.

He has told me of the generosity of strangers on the street. At least one took him to a motel and paid for the night. Many have given $10 or $20 dollar bills. And at the end of the month, I'm lucky to be able to give him $20-40. So I'm very thankfull to those people who have helped him.

I'll give someone who looks like he is in the kind of condition my brother is in some change, but I save what I can for him. And those guys in the white coats or with tables set up in front of the store- I have no idea where that money goes, so I normally don't give to them.

[BarTopDancer]

Originally Posted by RStar

And those guys in the white coats or with tables set up in front of the store- I have no idea where that money goes, so I normally don't give to them.

I never give to people outside the store. Unless they are girl scouts with cookies. Or the time right after the earthquake and tsunami there was troop of Japanese Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts with a boatload of parents and a huge Japanese flag selling lemonade to raise money to go to Japan. I have no idea if the money actually went there but I sure hope it did.

[Strangler Lewis]

I don't like vaguely captive situations, so I never give to anyone standing at a traffic light or who hits me up near an ATM, while I'm pumping gas or walking with my kids. Living in San Francisco, handing out spare change had become somewhat automatic. Here in Petaluma, the situation arises so infrequently that it surprises me and, thus surprising me, it annoys me, so the answer is almost always no.

On the storefront issue, a couple of months ago, there was a fairly toothless couple with a pen full of goats set up outside. They were collecting money with the hand drawn sign that said "Goats: pets, not food." That one had me wondering.

[Alex]

I've got a couple regulars I'll drop a $20 every once in a while (if they're going to use the money for booze/drugs they might as well splurge and if not they might as well splurge).

Otherwise I sometimes give in response to good patter but mostly it is a polite no if they speak to me or just walking by if they're passive. More common is if I have something on me (say the doggy bag from a group lunch) I give it to them.

When I was younger I used to call the bluffs of people with car problems by offering, instead of giving them money, to take a look at their car. Amazing how often, when we got to where their car was it had apparently just been towed. Did that once with Lani along (told her to wait, I'd be right back) and she still hasn't forgiven me so I don't do it any more.

[Ghoulish Delight]

I almost never carry cash or change anymore, so it's rarely a choice for me.

[Moonliner]

Originally Posted by Ghoulish Delight

I almost never carry cash or change anymore, so it's rarely a choice for me.

I guess a Panhendler with their own NFC terminal would be a bit odd.