He Knows

Gemini Cricket · 12-21-2005, 01:28 PM

He Knows
By: GC

A husband and wife are in bed. It's nighttime.

Wife: I couldn’t sleep last night.
Husband: I know, you woke up at 3:15 in the morning. It must be all the guilt.
Wife: Guilt? Ha. What have I to be guilty about?
Husband: How about those extra grapes you swiped at the grocery?
Wife: Taste-testing!
Husband: One is a taste-test. Five is stealing.
Wife: Fine. Five. Big deal.

Pause

Wife: But it’s not that. I couldn’t sleep because I’m having an affair.
Husband: No, you’re not.
Wife: How can you be sure? From what I hear they’re talking about it at your work.
Husband: They’ll make up anything to make the time go by.
Wife: Hmph.
Husband: You’re not having an affair.
Wife: No, I’m not.

Pause

Wife: Well, what if I was having an affair?!
Husband: Don’t shout. I hate that. It’s worse than all the crying you do at the movies.
Wife: You don’t pay attention to me.
Husband: I pay lots and lots of attention. I know everything there is to know about you. We’ve just run out of things to talk about.
Wife: Maybe.

Pause

Husband: And no pouting either.
Wife: I’m not pouting. Can’t a wife be launched into deep thought now and then?
Husband: Oh ho. Deep thought are we?
Wife: Are you even listening to me? I wish you wouldn’t bring your work to bed like that. Give me that laundry list of yours.
Husband: Give it back. Let me double check it and I’ll put it away.
Wife: Here. Old fool.

Pause

Husband: Someone’s in a naughty mood tonight.
Wife: Oh?
Husband: I’m very good at finding these things out, you know.
Wife: Predictable, am I?
Husband: It's just that I know everything there is to know about you.
Wife: Maybe so.

They kiss. He grabs her butt.

Wife: Oh, for goodness sake, Mr. Claus!

They laugh, he turns out the light.

Cadaverous Pallor · 12-21-2005, 01:42 PM

Heehee, love it!

SacTown Chronic · 12-21-2005, 03:54 PM

Mrs. Claus is hot!

Not Afraid · 12-21-2005, 03:58 PM

That was go good! Loved it, GC!!!!

LSPoorEeyorick · 12-21-2005, 06:20 PM

I always enjoy your fiction. This was especially nice.

BryceCal · 12-21-2005, 09:20 PM

He knows nothing, and lets leave it that way!

12-21-2005, 01:28 PM	#1
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	He Knows He Knows By: GC A husband and wife are in bed. It's nighttime. Wife: I couldn’t sleep last night. Husband: I know, you woke up at 3:15 in the morning. It must be all the guilt. Wife: Guilt? Ha. What have I to be guilty about? Husband: How about those extra grapes you swiped at the grocery? Wife: Taste-testing! Husband: One is a taste-test. Five is stealing. Wife: Fine. Five. Big deal. Pause Wife: But it’s not that. I couldn’t sleep because I’m having an affair. Husband: No, you’re not. Wife: How can you be sure? From what I hear they’re talking about it at your work. Husband: They’ll make up anything to make the time go by. Wife: Hmph. Husband: You’re not having an affair. Wife: No, I’m not. Pause Wife: Well, what if I was having an affair?! Husband: Don’t shout. I hate that. It’s worse than all the crying you do at the movies. Wife: You don’t pay attention to me. Husband: I pay lots and lots of attention. I know everything there is to know about you. We’ve just run out of things to talk about. Wife: Maybe. Pause Husband: And no pouting either. Wife: I’m not pouting. Can’t a wife be launched into deep thought now and then? Husband: Oh ho. Deep thought are we? Wife: Are you even listening to me? I wish you wouldn’t bring your work to bed like that. Give me that laundry list of yours. Husband: Give it back. Let me double check it and I’ll put it away. Wife: Here. Old fool. Pause Husband: Someone’s in a naughty mood tonight. Wife: Oh? Husband: I’m very good at finding these things out, you know. Wife: Predictable, am I? Husband: It's just that I know everything there is to know about you. Wife: Maybe so. They kiss. He grabs her butt. Wife: Oh, for goodness sake, Mr. Claus! They laugh, he turns out the light.
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12-21-2005, 01:42 PM	#2
Cadaverous Pallor ohhhh baby Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Parental Bliss Posts: 12,364	Heehee, love it! __________________ The second star to the right shines in the night for you
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12-21-2005, 03:54 PM	#3
SacTown Chronic the myth of the dream Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 2,217	Mrs. Claus is hot! __________________ Is it the fingers, or the brain that you're teaching a lesson?
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12-21-2005, 03:58 PM	#4
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	That was go good! Loved it, GC!!!!
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12-21-2005, 06:20 PM	#5
LSPoorEeyorick scribblin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in the moment Posts: 3,872	I always enjoy your fiction. This was especially nice.
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12-21-2005, 09:20 PM	#6
BryceCal Its Rex Manning Day! Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Wish I was in Cali Posts: 14	He knows nothing, and lets leave it that way!
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