Erica's Musing of the Day - Being Understood

[blueerica]

I realize that I am short on time between classes, but I figured I'd bring it up for discussion here: The importance of feeling like you were understood.

I don't believe that I require agreement out of anyone, but a constant pinpoint of frustration for me comes out of feeling like I wasn't understood. Often, I will drive myself mentally around and around in circles in a vain attempt of making the world understand, often deflating my self through the process.

I often have delusions of something-or-another that the world would be a better place if we all understood one another, not meaning that we had to agree, but that we could agree that we disagreed, and that it really wasn't a big deal after all; maybe even have a laugh and a couple of beers over it. That we could see where the other person came from, and didn't require all the irrationality of swaying someone to our side. Just to be understood.

I feel like my theme song for today, nay, this weekend, might be that Animals song...

I'm just a soul who's intentions are gooooood!
OH LORD! Please don't let me be misunderstood

[Ghoulish Delight]

Originally Posted by blueerica

I don't believe that I require agreement out of anyone, but a constant pinpoint of frustration for me comes out of feeling like I wasn't understood.

I'm right there with you. Heck, 99% of arguments that CP and I have (which aren't many to begin) boil down not to the fact that we disagree, but that CP gets annoyed with me that I keep "repeating myself" when what I feel is that I'm trying to clarify myself to make sure she understands exactly what I mean.

[innerSpaceman]

Understanding is the booby-prize.


(That's a classic EST aphorism).



Being grokked is far more laudible, and I heartily agree with the sentiment that we the world would be a better place if we all just grokked "the other" and, if necessary, simply agreed to disagree ... having that life-celebratory beer instead the millionth bloody war.

[Prudence]

Originally Posted by Ghoulish Delight

...CP gets annoyed with me that I keep "repeating myself" when what I feel is that I'm trying to clarify myself to make sure she understands exactly what I mean.

BT and I do this all the time, only it's me trying to do the clarifying. He thinks I'm insane and I'm trying vainly to articulate some nuance that I find super important.

And I started singing the Animals song in my head as soon as I saw the thread title.

[scaeagles]

I don't understand myself most of the time, so I typically just smile and nod to convince whomever is talking that I am interested and actually get it.

[blueerica]

Thank god I'm not the only neurotic mess.

I feel like I just make things worse, and paint a picture of myself that in some respects isn't true. This must be my Type A side surfacing... When will I learn to accept that some people just aren't gonna get it, and it isn't my job to make sure they do. I'll give myself ulcers this way!

NEUROSIS 4 lyfe!

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by Ghoulish Delight

I'm right there with you. Heck, 99% of arguments that CP and I have (which aren't many to begin) boil down not to the fact that we disagree, but that CP gets annoyed with me that I keep "repeating myself" when what I feel is that I'm trying to clarify myself to make sure she understands exactly what I mean.

And then I'm like "I get it!" and he's like "Don't interrupt me!" and I'm like "I'm sick of the explanation!" and he's like "You don't understand!" and I'm like "Yes, I do!" and we yell a lot.

And then we have make-up sex.

[blueerica]

See, I don't get the make up sex part...

BLAH!

[scaeagles]

He knows that make-up sex is coming, so he sets you up to fight about it.

IT'S OBVIOUS!!!!!!!!!

[blueerica]

Nice observation, Sca...

Here's a toaster.