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Reload this Page It's been months since I've worked on my own writing.
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Old 04-18-2006, 11:58 PM   #11
Bornieo: Fully Loaded
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Enjoyable. Wonderful dialogue. I'm interested to see what would happen if you revisit some of the "action" or movment of the characters. "...reached out..." seems to stand out.
Quote:
His hand reached out to cup the back of her left leg, his thumb lightly caressing a deep bruise below her knee cap. He pressed down hard. Her eyes squinted in pain but remained dry. She asked him to kiss her.
And not to be picky, but there's much use of Him, he, her in this area.

Just my humble opinion. Moving on...
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Old 04-19-2006, 10:35 AM   #12
lizziebith
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Oooh, so rich and reverberant! Wonderful work!
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Old 04-19-2006, 02:27 PM   #13
Tramspotter
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Old 04-19-2006, 07:28 PM   #14
blueerica
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Good stuff!

I think we're all maybe starting to want to stretch our writing muscles again. I've been feeling a bit inspired. This seems to be encouraging it.

<3 E
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Old 04-20-2006, 10:01 AM   #15
Cadaverous Pallor
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blueerica
Good stuff!

I think we're all maybe starting to want to stretch our writing muscles again. I've been feeling a bit inspired. This seems to be encouraging it.

<3 E
Yes! We need to encourage each other. I've been in a writing funk for long enough.
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Old 04-25-2006, 12:05 AM   #16
Boss Radio
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Nice work.
You kind of scare me.
In a good way.
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