moleHILL MOUntain

Gemini Cricket · 04-19-2006, 12:54 PM

moleHILL MOUntain (A mystery)
by: GC
Part 1

----------------------------------------

April 19, 2006

To the Kids at
The Lounge of Tomorrow
The Innernet, USA

Good Afternoon Everyone,

My name is Eulele Pickens. (You pronounce it YOU-LAY-LAY. Makes me sound like a big 'ol chicken or a prostitute, doesn't it?) You don't know me, but I guarantee you know someone like me. I live in a small little town that I call MoleHill Mountain. I won't use its real name here but I assure you that you've been to my town at least once in your life. In fact, to keep the dark glasses fixed on the people (if you can call them that) I'll talk about, I'm gonna use fake names here and there.

My husband, John J. Pickens (you can call him "Picky" for short), runs Picky Pickens' Grocery and Feed Store on Main Street. I'm sure you've heard of it before. It's a chain. There's two locations. One's on Main Street and one's by the Lolly's Underwear Emporium by the freeway. And if you ever get yourself out there, don't be caught by Lolly's. Don't do it, kittens. Lolly's is a place of ill-repute. Only bad girls hang out there. In fact, Lolly herself is a piece of work, I tell you. Lolly has been married three times. Each husband richer than the last. Truth be told that she didn't date any of them for more than a couple of months before they were getting hitched. And why three of them, you ask? Well that's a whole sack of rosy potatoes that needs peeling later.

Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the grocery in the bad side of town... The land was cheap in that area and, well, those low-income types have to get their eggs and ready made snacks from someplace. The store's small. Only one cashier, Randa Clamp. The woman's so homely that she spoils the milk just by scanning it at her register. Lordy. Don't get me wrong, I like 'ol Randa Clamp but she just needs a series of makeovers. You know how they do those before and after makeovers on TV? Each one usually lasts one episode. Randa would need a whole 24 episode series devoted just to her. But Picky likes her. I think he feels downright sorry for her and I don't blame him. My best friend, Calliope Shewalters, says poor Randa has Summer Teeth. Some 'er there, some 'er missing. Get it? Calliope's a riot. You'll meet her later.

Anyway, there are a lot of people in town. And, kittens, I know 'em all. When I got bored helping our maid with the house chores, I asked Picky if I could have my own business. A little shop or something. That's when he and I opened the Picky Pickens' Bed & Breakfast and Wedding Gazebo near the town park. I run the front desk, the kitchen and oversee all wedding necessities in town for anyone wanting to get married under our gazebo. And you can't get in or out of town without passing either the Grocery or the Bed & Breakfast and Wedding Gazebo, so I know just about everything that there is to know about good 'ol MoleHill Mountain. Well, almost everything.

The one thing myself and the entire town are still trying to figure out, is who sent a severed human head to Ms. Yvonne Lungriese-Carstens in the mail. Wrapped in butcher paper.

But we'll get to that later, kittens...

Sincerely,

Mrs. Eulele Pickens

Picky Pickens' Bed & Breakfast and Wedding Gazebo
MoleHill Mountain, USA

PS ~ You'll have to excuse my spelling and grammar. Sometimes my mouth flies faster than my poor grandnephew, Gemini, can type. He's a nice boy, that Gemini. He's very clean and he doesn't steal.

tracilicious · 04-19-2006, 01:34 PM

Hooray, a mystery! When do we get more?

Snowflake · 04-19-2006, 01:49 PM

I love this!

Quote:

The woman's so homely that she spoils the milk just by scanning it at her register. Lordy. Don't get me wrong, I like 'ol Randa Clamp but she just needs a series of makeovers. You know how they do those before and after makeovers on TV? Each one usually lasts one episode. Randa would need a whole 24 episode series devoted just to her.

When is the next installment? And I can file this under the "What Swanky Thing Are You Reading?" Thread

katiesue · 04-19-2006, 02:50 PM

More more

Cadaverous Pallor · 04-19-2006, 02:54 PM

Ain't this just the bee's knees? I can't wait to read more.

Gn2Dlnd · 04-28-2006, 11:18 AM

Found it!

This sounds like the sort of town that still has party lines. If you want to get celphone service, you have to go out near the freeway.

You know, It's possible I may have stopped in to Picken's Grocery to use the phone once. In any case, give your Great Aunt Eulele my regards. She must be a stitch at family reunions.

04-19-2006, 12:54 PM	#1
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	moleHILL MOUntain moleHILL MOUntain (A mystery) by: GC Part 1 ---------------------------------------- April 19, 2006 To the Kids at The Lounge of Tomorrow The Innernet, USA Good Afternoon Everyone, My name is Eulele Pickens. (You pronounce it YOU-LAY-LAY. Makes me sound like a big 'ol chicken or a prostitute, doesn't it?) You don't know me, but I guarantee you know someone like me. I live in a small little town that I call MoleHill Mountain. I won't use its real name here but I assure you that you've been to my town at least once in your life. In fact, to keep the dark glasses fixed on the people (if you can call them that) I'll talk about, I'm gonna use fake names here and there. My husband, John J. Pickens (you can call him "Picky" for short), runs Picky Pickens' Grocery and Feed Store on Main Street. I'm sure you've heard of it before. It's a chain. There's two locations. One's on Main Street and one's by the Lolly's Underwear Emporium by the freeway. And if you ever get yourself out there, don't be caught by Lolly's. Don't do it, kittens. Lolly's is a place of ill-repute. Only bad girls hang out there. In fact, Lolly herself is a piece of work, I tell you. Lolly has been married three times. Each husband richer than the last. Truth be told that she didn't date any of them for more than a couple of months before they were getting hitched. And why three of them, you ask? Well that's a whole sack of rosy potatoes that needs peeling later. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, the grocery in the bad side of town... The land was cheap in that area and, well, those low-income types have to get their eggs and ready made snacks from someplace. The store's small. Only one cashier, Randa Clamp. The woman's so homely that she spoils the milk just by scanning it at her register. Lordy. Don't get me wrong, I like 'ol Randa Clamp but she just needs a series of makeovers. You know how they do those before and after makeovers on TV? Each one usually lasts one episode. Randa would need a whole 24 episode series devoted just to her. But Picky likes her. I think he feels downright sorry for her and I don't blame him. My best friend, Calliope Shewalters, says poor Randa has Summer Teeth. Some 'er there, some 'er missing. Get it? Calliope's a riot. You'll meet her later. Anyway, there are a lot of people in town. And, kittens, I know 'em all. When I got bored helping our maid with the house chores, I asked Picky if I could have my own business. A little shop or something. That's when he and I opened the Picky Pickens' Bed & Breakfast and Wedding Gazebo near the town park. I run the front desk, the kitchen and oversee all wedding necessities in town for anyone wanting to get married under our gazebo. And you can't get in or out of town without passing either the Grocery or the Bed & Breakfast and Wedding Gazebo, so I know just about everything that there is to know about good 'ol MoleHill Mountain. Well, almost everything. The one thing myself and the entire town are still trying to figure out, is who sent a severed human head to Ms. Yvonne Lungriese-Carstens in the mail. Wrapped in butcher paper. But we'll get to that later, kittens... Sincerely, Mrs. Eulele Pickens Picky Pickens' Bed & Breakfast and Wedding Gazebo MoleHill Mountain, USA PS ~ You'll have to excuse my spelling and grammar. Sometimes my mouth flies faster than my poor grandnephew, Gemini, can type. He's a nice boy, that Gemini. He's very clean and he doesn't steal.
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04-19-2006, 01:34 PM	#2
tracilicious avatar transition Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in-between Posts: 2,487	Hooray, a mystery! When do we get more? __________________ And now Harry, let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure! - Albus Dumbledore
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04-19-2006, 02:50 PM	#4
katiesue Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: San Diego Posts: 4,678	More more
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04-19-2006, 02:54 PM	#5
Cadaverous Pallor ohhhh baby Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Parental Bliss Posts: 12,364	Ain't this just the bee's knees? I can't wait to read more. __________________ The second star to the right shines in the night for you
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04-28-2006, 11:18 AM	#6
Gn2Dlnd Parmmadore Jim Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Casita del Queso Posts: 3,810	Found it! This sounds like the sort of town that still has party lines. If you want to get celphone service, you have to go out near the freeway. You know, It's possible I may have stopped in to Picken's Grocery to use the phone once. In any case, give your Great Aunt Eulele my regards. She must be a stitch at family reunions. __________________ Does anyone still wear a hat?
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