Sometimes, you just never know... Part 2

[Gemini Cricket]

I don't know if you guys remember this thread about my dad. But I ended the OP of that thread saying this:

I just thought I'd share, because there's nothing as great as having a civil conversation with someone you love after a 7 year drought.

Now as for mom... well it may take another 7 years but I can wait, I guess.

It hasn't been 7 years but...

She and I talked last night. I've been sick for the last couple of days and haven't returned any phone calls lately. During that time, my mom called twice. Yesterday, after walking Frodo I got a call at home. I picked it up. It was my mom.

Usually the way the script usually reads when my mom and I talk on the phone is that 1. someone died and she's calling me to let me know 2. she's mad at either one of my sisters or my dad and needs to vent or 3. she's attempting to make me feel guilty for not calling her in awhile. But our conversation was from a different script this time.

My mom and I have this long history of fighting about the church and gay issues and such. I'm called a heathen and she's called a homophobe and we pretty much end it there.

Last night she called me to let me know that a priest and head theologian in the Honolulu Diocese asked her to be speak in front of all of the deacons in Hawai'i about gay Catholics. He asked her to speak publicly about her gay son.

"...and how I'm going to hell and how I shouldn't get married?" I asked her bitterly.
"No." She said. "He wanted me to tell everyone how much I love you."

Spinning Newspaper Headline: "Mom Hits Son Over Head with Sledgehammer"

I was stunned. The priest (who is some high mucky muck over at the Catholic Church in Hawai'i) asked her to counsel deacons on how to accept gay individuals, couples, couples with families and parishoners with gay kids into the church. My mom told him that she had very strong feelings on the matter, including the lack of financial help for HIV/AIDS causes from the church. She said she wasn't going to pull any punches about how she felt. He said he didn't want her to. (The marriage issue did not come up, but I figured baby steps are good.)

Now this theologian and I go way back. He was our pastor for many years and he'd come over for dinner lots and we'd go back and forth about religion all the time. In 1998, he was head of the anti-marriage equality fight in Hawai'i. He paraded around the state capitol with a copy of the childrens' book "Daddy's Roommate" and talked about how gays were recruiting children etc. But a couple of years ago, he was approached by a lesbian couple who wanted their child to be admitted into the private school that he runs. He decided to accept this child in when he realized that her parents were no different from any of the others. (As a side note, the school he runs is my old grade school.) From there he decided that if other families with same-sex parents were to come around, that he should counsel other priests and deacons about how to treat these families with dignity like all the others. I'm not sure where the revelation took place in his eyes, but it did.

After my mom's presentation, she was approached by several members of the Church who have gay children. They thanked her for talking about this issue and approaching it with an open mind.

My mom always talks to me about 'calling'. She said that me working at a shelter was answering a calling. I don't know what I believe about that, but I just said, 'Who knows.' So, in turn, I told her that maybe this is her calling. I told her that maybe (and I used the song from 'The Color Purple' as an example) God was trying to tell her something. I told her maybe God/Jesus wants her to be a shoulder for people in the CC who have gay kids. She agreed.

So, now my mom's a PFLAG-esque presence in her church. I think that's great.

I told her that I was wrong about her never being able to understand my sister and I. I told her I was extremely proud of her. I told her that nothing she could have told me could have made me happier.

I never thought I would see this day.

My mom is awesome.

My parents rock.

[mousepod]

Thanks for sharing, GC. It's nice to know that there's hope for the future, and it's not just "the children". How do I give your mom mojo?

[innerSpaceman]

[Kevy Baby]

That story made my day (at least I HOPE) it carries through the day.

Thank you GC!

[Motorboat Cruiser]

Thanks for sharing that, GC. That is really cool!

[MouseWife]

Hey GC, this is totally heartwarming. I can imagine it has been hard on you all of these years having to deal with attitudes...is this a load off of your mind?


moms mean well but sometimes are totally off base...luckily people can change and minds can open.....even parents have 'parent tapes' to get over...

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Aw, that's excellent! I'm so happy for you (and I'm happy for her-- for finally getting to the point where she can do this, for her, for you, for the people of her church.)

[Snowflake]

That is so awesome!
Thanks for sharing this wonderful story GC. Kudos to you and your Mom!
Indeed, this makes it a good friday!

[Moonliner]

That's great. I hope an in-person reunion is in your future.



(Just don't have it at Waikiki, ick!)

[Gemini Cricket]

Originally Posted by MouseWife

...is this a load off of your mind?

It is.