I really do suck at poetry...

tracilicious · 10-31-2005, 01:29 PM

Ok, now criticize me. This is the first poem I've wrote in years, mainly because I was so traumatized by the tremendous badness of my angstful teenage poetry. I'm hesitant to post a less than happy poem for fear I'll sound depressed, when really it's just a snapshot of an emotion.

Tell me how it could be better. Word usage? Grammar? Structure? Punctuation? Or if it's just terrible then tell me that too. I can take it, don't be nice or sugar coat your criticism. Lay it on me, baby!

ETA: I know the ending is weak, but that seemed to be the hardest part. What would you have done differently?

10-31-2005, 01:29 PM	#2
tracilicious avatar transition Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in-between Posts: 2,487	Ok, now criticize me. This is the first poem I've wrote in years, mainly because I was so traumatized by the tremendous badness of my angstful teenage poetry. I'm hesitant to post a less than happy poem for fear I'll sound depressed, when really it's just a snapshot of an emotion. Tell me how it could be better. Word usage? Grammar? Structure? Punctuation? Or if it's just terrible then tell me that too. I can take it, don't be nice or sugar coat your criticism. Lay it on me, baby! ETA: I know the ending is weak, but that seemed to be the hardest part. What would you have done differently? __________________ And now Harry, let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure! - Albus Dumbledore
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