The One That Got Away?

[Claire]

When I was a freshman in high school, I was friends with the most popular senior, Adam. I met him at the grocery store he worked in when I was in 8th grade, and he and my mom just had this mutual admiration and I got pulled in to the mix. Adam is the kind of guy who makes everyone feel special and cool and loved. He's the best. He has this network of friends that literally spans the globe. I used to go places in college for spring break and people from other states would say, "You're from Oregon? Do you know a guy named Adam?"

So Adam's group of friends in his class are/were extremely good looking. And they're nice, still connected to one another, see each other constantly, go on vacations together (I've gone camping and rafting with them several times), and one of them hosts this big luau every summer and hundreds of people come and take over three houses on one little cul de sac in our hometown.

It's really the most amazing group of people. If it wasn't for them and their network of friends that include a lot of my friends from high school and college....I would never have been good at keeping in touch. But whenever there's an event, a concert (Def Leppard, Depeche Mode, Prince), a wedding, a funeral, a trip, I'm called and invited.....and they completely took in my husband. He's now part of it, which is really cool for me.

So last night.....was the Duran Duran show. The usual people were there....plus one.

The one.

Dennis was a senior when I was a freshman and despite my "Adam's little sister" status, Dennis was untouchable. He had this curly black soft mullet, always wore white button up rayon shirts, perfectly pleated dark pants, and loafers. He was beyond cool. My friend, Vanessa, used to drag me past his house on most sunny Saturday afternoons, so we could catch a glimpse of him playing basketball with his brothers. We never talked to him, we'd just walk by and try not to get caught staring at his bare legs.

Dennis went stag to the Sadie Hawkins dance (girls were no doubt afraid to ask him) and he asked me to dance. Big mistake. My friend Vanessa literally didn't talk to me for months. I never talked to him again.

Until college. Our friend Mark was a DJ at this club in Corvallis, and on Thursday nights, hundreds of college students would flood the club and it was pretty much a weekly high school reunion for us. Dennis showed up twice (went to college out of state, so he'd only be there if he was staying with Mark), and the first time, he didn't talk to me.....until it was closing time and he slipped me his phone number.

I called Mark to ask him what the deal was, and it turns out Dennis had this huge crush on me......for-e-ver. It was the best/worst kept secret. Unfortunately, I had a boyfriend. A crazy ass boyfriend. I never called Dennis, but I kept his number in my wallet for a year.

The next time I saw Dennis at the same club, he approached me right away and gave me a hug. First time I'd had physical Dennis contact since I was fourteen at the Sadie Hawkins Dance. He asked why I hadn't called him, I explained about the psycho boyfriend, we left and went outside and talked for a long time, sitting on the curb. It was really nice. Turns out he's super shy--that's why he always went stag to dances, never dated anyone special, never asked anyone out, etc. I always thought he was a snob, even though we had the same circle of friends.

So that night, we ended things with a hug and he gave me his number again.

Six months later, I'm single, and for some reason, didn't call him.....I never called him. He got my number from Adam once and called me and left a message.....I never called him back. I ran into him and the gang of guys one night in Portland. We immediately hit it off again, hung out all night, and ended up kissing. A lot. We stayed out all night as a group and it was the best night!

Then he left the next morning for basic training for the freaking MARINES.

He called me when he could, about two months later, but I'd started dating someone (a guy named Kelly ) and a few months later he came back to town to visit and called me right away. We got together for lunch and he told me he was marrying Gretchen. She was a year older than him and from our town. Our friend Andy had gotten her pregnant and ditched. Dennis decided to marry her and was going to adopt the baby.

I fell in love then and there. Holy crap, what a man.

So.....I get married, he gets married.

We ran into each other about four years later at the annual luau. We show each other our kids' pictures, talk awkwardly until his wife shows up. She glares at me, and I said my goodbye.

So last night, he shows up at the concert. I wasn't expecting him. Turns out he and Gretchen are divorced, Gretchen lives FOUR blocks from me with their daughters and he lives in the burbs. How freaking WEIRD is that?? Our daughters will go to the same middle school at the same time. UGH!

My heart pitter pattered all night, and not just because of Simon LeBon. I was good, though. Tried to keep my distance, but he wanted to catch up. We did, and I'm glad, but the man has GOT to stay away from me. Far away. That's just playing with fire. He's such a good man, married to the wrong girl at the wrong time.

I hope he finds someone excellent. Someone worthy. Someone wonderful and amazing and sexy and hot and someone who will be an awesome step-mom to his gorgeous daughters. I want all that for him.

I also want to NEVER see him again!!! He's my kryptonite. He makes me all squishy inside. Dangerous.

I know this is long......way longer than I intended.......but does anyone else have someone like this in their life?? The one that got away? How do you deal?? Do you ever have to see him or her?