Happy Day of the Ninja

[Pirate Bill]

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

Bill catches on quickly!

(Psst, learn the words ham, taco, boobies, sphincter, bacon, package and use them frequently. You probably already know the word "pancake".)

I was enjoying a really lake breakfast one cold and dreary afternoon - a delicious stack of buttermilk pancakes with a side of bacon - when the doorbell rang. I dragged my body away from the table and tightened the belt on my robe as I made my way to the door to shoe away whatever unwelcome visitor was out there. As I peered through the windows to catch sight of the intruder my sphincter nearly gave out. "UPS," I whispered exitedly. "It's here."

"I have a package for you," spoke the woman in brown. Instinctively my eyes took a glance at her boobies. I smiled and nodded approvingly at both her words and the vision before me. But there were other things on my mind at the moment that I was more interested in. Could this finally be it? Is my Honey Baked Ham finally here, at my door, in the arms of a beauty? I accepted the package and gingerly shut the door. There was no way I could wait to open it in the kitchen. I had to do it right then and there. Gracefully I placed the box on the floor, drew my leatherman from the robe pocket, and scored the tape. "If only I could savor this moment," I thought as I rushed to open it.

Wait, what's this? The Taco of the Month Club? What the...?