Inspiration?

[blueerica]

Today, while reading a magazine during my obligatory 30-minutes of cardio on the elliptical machine, I came upon a Mahatma Gandhi quote in the From the Editor page.

“Live as if to die tomorrow. Learn as if to live forever.”

While we all have obligations in our lives, from the mundane and standard, to the difficult and trying, I know it is easy to neglect our obligations to ourselves.

Everyday chores aside, here is my alternate list of obligations:

Be kind to myself.
Pursue a career that I want, not a career that I am stuck with.
Make time for friends, family, and good times.
Keep negativity away from me, and harsh judgments at arm’s lengths.
Indulge in the arts I have shrunk away from.
Immerse myself in the waters of many cultures.
Pursue passions meaningful to me, and leave other pursuits behind.
And again,
Be kind to myself.

Tomorrow, I should keep track of how many times I tell myself no, that I can’t, that it won’t work, and that I’ll fail. I hesitate from the most insipid things, and ultimately, I’ve come to realize, that this anxiety and ultimately, immobilization comes from my fear of failure, which is irrational. I fear confrontation, I fear not being accepted, I fear so so much, and ignore the obligation I have to myself. I help others when they need it, but me? They can fail; I can’t. Though I fail every day.

There has been much greatness achieved by those who went against greater odds than I can imagine. How insignificant my problems are compared to the vastness of the world. What a speck (a fleck!) I am!

Further into the magazine was an article on those who stayed in and came to Thailand after the tsunami last year. Families lost, homes, livelihoods, pain, and suffering. And here I am, in plush southern California wasting away each day. Each day could be my last. Every time a breeze goes by… could be a sensation I never get to feel again, and I should treat it as such. So, I’m trying to teach myself a new lesson on the sanctity of life, not only of others’, but the sanctity of myself.