I have my bib on, Mr. President...

[SacTown Chronic]

... so go ahead and feed me a line of bullsh*t. I'll be glued to my tv, anxious to be told what to think. In the meantime, I'll reflect on what got us to this point. Want to come with, sir?

DIANE SAWYER: But stated as a hard fact, that there were weapons of mass destruction as opposed to the possibility that he could move to acquire those weapons still — PRESIDENT BUSH: So what's the difference? ~ interview with Diane Sawyer, 12/03 (7 months after invasion)

The difference is clear to over 1700 American soldiers and their families, sir.

We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud ~ Condi Rice, 9/02

You may be reading too much. I don't know anybody that I can think of who has contended that the Iraqis had nuclear weapons. ~ Donald Rumsfeld, 6/03

Huh? Maybe Condi meant mushroom tip?

I think the burden is on those people who think he didn't have weapons of mass destruction to tell the world where they are. ~ Ari Fleischer, 7/03

Oh, it's my fault we can't find the WMD. I did not know that.

But for those who say we haven't found the banned manufacturing devices or banned weapons, they're wrong, we found them. ~ George Bush, 5/03

Cool! So where are they?

We know where they are. They're in the area around Tikrit and Baghdad and east, west, south and north somewhat. ~ Donald Rumsfeld, 3/03

Can you be more specific?

It's going to take time to find them, but we know he had them. And whether he destroyed them, moved them or hid them, we're going to find out the truth. One thing is for certain: Saddam Hussein no longer threatens America with weapons of mass destruction. ~ George Bush, 5/03

Psssst, Mr. President, don't you mean democracy is on the march?

Given time, given the number of prisoners now that we're interrogating, I'm confident that we're going to find weapons of mass destruction. ~ Gen. Richard Myers, 5/03

[Janis Joplin] Interrogation is just another word for torturous abuse. [/Janis Joplin]



There. I feel much better now. On with the show, Mr. Bush.


Last throes.