Could you forgive someone who shot you?

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by Alex Stroup

I didn't say it was a bad thing, just that I don't think she really understand what she is saying. Maybe later she'll understand and still stand by what she said. Or she won't.

It's like teaching a kid to say "please" and "thank you." They'll be coached (or raised) to say it at the appropriate times long before they really mean it.

I agree with this to a point. I small children can feel all these things, just to a lesser extent. We've chosen not to prompt for things like please and thank you, and just to model it instead. Humans being the social beings they are, will copy behaviors that make fitting into society easier. So when Indi says "thank you" when I hand him a carrot, no doubt it's just because he's heard me say thank you whenever he hands me something. But when we give him something he really loves and he gives us a big hug and says, "MMM. I love you!" I think that he really does feel gratitude.

Likewise, he may say sorry when he's made a mistake because he hears us say it, but when he breaks a toy and apologizes to it, it's clear that he really does feel regret. I accidentally threw a small favorite toy of his away last week. He was upset, of course, but when I apologized, he looked at me for a minute then said, "It's ok" and went to play. It would seem to me like he forgave me.

Sorry for so many anecdotes, they're all I really have to go by in this instance. I think that the girl in question can only forgive what she understands. So at this point, she can forgive him for the fact that she has to be in a wheelchair and can't run and play. That's probably the extent of her understanding.