Dear:

[wendybeth]

Originally Posted by Capt Jack

Dear God,

I'm so glad you called. Its good to see you're still around. I'd heard rumors to the contrary of late.

I however must take issue with the breast implants. While I am appreciative of the thought, I think if you check my records that was NOT the part I had requested augmentation of.

Please advise.

PS, the tummy tuck looks great.

Captain Jack,

While I appreciate that you are only human and occasional mistakes will be made, it's really not my fault that you find yourself in the wrong line. I am a very busy entity and don't have time to babysit- this is exactly the reason I gave you humans free will. How was I supposed to know you weren't going for the transgender option? Sheesh. As it stands, I am unable to comply with your request at this time. You may not realise this, but the Universe is a very fragile place where the slightest deviations from the design plans may have catastrophic results. Your desire to change lines so you can drive one of those little red death-traps would very likely disrupt the Space-Time Continuum and result in the complete destruction of Zyrtich, which as you know is the natural habitat of the endangered Spotted Triblit. Stop being so selfish.

To show I am not completely heartless, I will throw in a complimentary Botox session and fruit basket. Now, go away and stop bothering me.

Yours, etc,
God