Why I hate working retail during the holidays...

[Strangler Lewis]

My most annoying experience as a waiter at Hamburger Hamlet was not with any of the mindblowing customers but with a district manager who was in the restaurant as I set up for brunch one Sunday. The restaurant proudly served cornbread, and I grabbed a piece to eat as I worked. The district manager asked if I had paid for it. "No," I said. "The register's not open yet." "Well," he said, "that's kind of like stealing, isn't it."

The cornbread was one of our employee half price items. Some were full price. The lobster bisque was forbidden to us to keep it special. That rule had a strangely brain washing effect.