For Men Only: Old School at the Urinal?

[Alex]

Boy do I love Amazon's search inside. It is from Desparation and here is the relevant paragraph:

Originally Posted by Stephen King in one of his more forgettable books

Johnny shook it briskly, then slipped it back into his underpants. "Brethern," he told the distant shimmering mountains in his earnest revival preacher's voice, "we are told in the Book of Ephesians, chapter three, verse nine, that it matters not how much you jump and dance; the last two drops go in your pants. So it is written and so it is -"

[Strangler Lewis]

I learned it as "No matter how you squirm and dance, The last drop always lands in your pants."

And it's not just the button flied who do this. When I wore button flied pants, I would just undo the relevant buttons.

[Jazzman]

I've noticed the semi-aggressive "feet shoulder width apart" slumped over stance, and always figured it was kind of like blocking out on the basketball court. I do it too, I guess, whenever I encounter the unfortunate urinal-sans-privacy-wall. As far as the through-or-over conundrum, maybe it's just that most guys still haven't put playing swords behind them? I'm an old school shooter myself, so I wouldn't know.

[Kevy Baby]

A professor of mine in college had a stance that always made me crack up:

Feet wider than shoulder width apart,
Right fist on hip (think classic "King and I" pose),
Left hand on wall above urinal.

[ozron]

I recently bought a pair of button-fly pants for the first time in years, and found the fully-opened fly necessary. I've noticed (usually) younger guys at the urinal with pants undone, and wondered thought how inconvenient it must be to have to concentrate that much on keeping the pants from just dropping off. Now that I've done it myself a few times, I still think that.

Then again, these are the same guys who regularly wear their pants with the fly somewhere in the vicinity of the knee, so I guess it makes sense to them.

ron

[RStar]

Originally Posted by blueerica

Oh, and all apologies for being the first girl to respond to a decidedly male thread.

Decidedly? The "men only" part of the title wasn't a clue?

Don't wory, I read the one about bras, and the make-up one as well (to some degree at least).

I find it rather amusing when a guy at the urinal spreads his legs, and places both hands on the wall as if he was being frisked by the police. I have to wonder about his past.....

And in case anyone wants to know Ephesians, chapter three, verse nine says "And to make all men see what is the fellowship of the mystery, which from the beginning of the world hath been hid in God, who created all things by Jesus Christ". I see nothing about dancing or peeing one's pants. (Note: I know Stephen King just had a character miss quoting the Bible on purpose)

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by RStar

(Note: I know Stephen King just had a character miss quoting the Bible on purpose)

Miss Quoting, I'd like you to meet Mister Parentheses. How do you do?

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by Stephen King

it matters not how much you jump and dance; the last two drops go in your pants.

Originally Posted by Strangler Lewis

I learned it as "No matter how you squirm and dance, The last drop always lands in your pants."

Both of these fulfill my need for more syllables, and keep the ambiguity that Alex rightfully pointed out. I'm satisfied.

[blueerica]

Originally Posted by RStar

Don't wory, I read the one about bras, and the make-up one as well (to some degree at least).

Criminy! I don't even remember those threads! I think I might about the make up....

[innerSpaceman]

Yes, but who can forget CP's Time-o'-the-Month thread ? ... and several men participated in that.