Virtual Scapegoat

[wendybeth]

Originally Posted by Eliza Hodgkins 1812

My brother broke the antenna off of his TV and brandished it at me like an autistic child having an epileptic swashbuckling fit.

And then he threw his trashcan at me.

Sibling love!

Lol!!!

Our family life was very animated. We all have big, loud personalities, and we all vied for attention. My mom mostly hid in her room.

One time, my horrible older brother (I like him better now, but at the time he was a real jerk) fell off the roof of the church across the street from our house. He broke his leg, and didn't want mom to know how he did it, so he made up a big story that I was supposed to corroborate. I immediately told her what really happened, of course. It was weeks before he could kick my ass. Oh, and when he fell off the roof, I had to get a blanket and drag him home on it, because he couldn't walk. I made sure to hit every bump along the way.

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Originally Posted by wendybeth

Lol!!!

Our family life was very animated. We all have big, loud personalities, and we all vied for attention. My mom mostly hid in her room.

One time, my horrible older brother (I like him better now, but at the time he was a real jerk) fell off the roof of the church across the street from our house. He broke his leg, and didn't want mom to know how he did it, so he made up a big story that I was supposed to corroborate. I immediately told her what really happened, of course. It was weeks before he could kick my ass. Oh, and when he fell off the roof, I had to get a blanket and drag him home on it, because he couldn't walk. I made sure to hit every bump along the way.

Is your last name, by any chance, Sedaris?

[wendybeth]

Originally Posted by Eliza Hodgkins 1812

Is your last name, by any chance, Sedaris?

Lol!!! Oh, I am so giving you all the Reader's Digest versions, too. If I told some of the really good stuff, you'd shun me for sure. I have a sis-in-law who just has to be the model for Amy Sedaris's (that is her name, right?) character in Strangers With Candy. It was her sister that got nailed by the serial killer.

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Originally Posted by wendybeth

Lol!!! Oh, I am so giving you all the Reader's Digest versions, too. If I told some of the really good stuff, you'd shun me for sure. I have a sis-in-law who just has to be the model for Amy Sedaris's (that is her name, right?) character in Strangers With Candy. It was her sister that got nailed by the serial killer.

Yup, that's the one. Amy Sedaris.

You're cracking me the frig up.

[wendybeth]

Originally Posted by Eliza Hodgkins 1812

Yup, that's the one. Amy Sedaris.

You're cracking me the frig up.

Lol- now that I think about it, I have two sister-in-law's and an ex SIL that fit nicely into this category.

Okay, another one:

When I was thirteen, my six foot tall, somewhat troubled best friend stopped by my house one night. "Hey, they're gonna throw me in juvie- want to go to Alaska with me?" Being an accomodating sort, I said "Sure!" and off we went. The next day we were busted hitchhiking on the interstate to Seattle, just after we'd smoked a joint with a trucker. We wound up in jail in Ellensburg, Wa, where a kindly jailer gave us his sad little lunch of PB& J sandwiches and graham crackers. We tossed them in the hall, festooned the cell with toilet paper bows, and had a jolly time. Meanwhile, they'd called our parents, who stood at the end of this very long , narrow hall watching us mop up our mess before we could be released.

I was grounded a very long time for that one.

I probably shouldn't post this, but what the hell.