Transformers! (Merged)

[Moonliner]

Originally Posted by BarTopDancer

shiny robots blowing stuff up.

*sniff* *sniff* is that a whiff of Oscar I detect?

[mousepod]

Originally Posted by BarTopDancer

Go expecting nothing more than shiny robots blowing stuff up.

"Stuff" like hundreds of innocent people.

Expect none of the campiness of Godzilla, none of the retro tongue-in-cheek of Mars Attacks.

Expect to see Jon Voight as a Rumsfeldian cool-thinking hero.

Technically, there was nothing wrong with the movie, but its moral bankruptcy was unnerving and ultimately frightening.

We left the theater more 'bummed out' than exhilarated.

Just my .02.

[mousepod]

...but I was glad to see the J.J. Abrams "trailer"(?) before the feature.

Anyone following the mystery at ethanhaaswasright or ethanhaaswaswrong?

If so, perhaps this merits its own thread.

[blueerica]

Originally Posted by mousepod

"Stuff" like hundreds of innocent people.

Expect none of the campiness of Godzilla, none of the retro tongue-in-cheek of Mars Attacks.

Expect to see Jon Voight as a Rumsfeldian cool-thinking hero.

Technically, there was nothing wrong with the movie, but its moral bankruptcy was unnerving and ultimately frightening.

We left the theater more 'bummed out' than exhilarated.

Just my .02.

I have yet to see the film, however, while I had no thought toward camp or tongue-in-cheekiness, the other stuff is somewhat of a given, in my opinion.


As the story goes, and those familiar with Transformers from the 1980s would well be aware of this, the Decepticons are baddies that are looking to take Earth's energy at all costs. I presume that includes innocent lives. If taken into the context of "imagine giant evil robots" I'd be surprised if the human toll didn't go into the millions - the Decepticons wouldn't be worth their salt if they weren't bad enough to take out at least thousands lives. They're evil.

Of course, this is my assumption and opinion based on seeing the cartoons and playing with the toys as a kid. As for Jon Voight being Rumsfeld-like, perhaps it's just a reflection of the times.

I'll reserve my opinion on the cheesy teen story I suspect is a part of it until I see it. And I very well could hate the violence, though I doubt it. It's what the Transformers were about... well, that and selling a bunch of toys.

[innerSpaceman]

That was likely the one of the worst movies I've ever been subjected to.


I've never played with the toys or watched the cartoon, so I had no cherished childhood memories to be destroyed by Michael Bay's adaptation.

I was not entertained for a moment. There was nothing redeemable about this movie.

The effects were even lame.







How can you make this bad a film about shiny robots blowing things up??!? I am amazed.

[mousepod]

I'm sorry if my sole negative response to the movie (well, until iSm chimed in) merits a defense, but perhaps I need to better explain why I think that Tranformers is one of the most offensive movies I've seen recently.

Firstly, I'm completely aware of the storyline of the Transformers from the 80s, thank you very much. I know that the Decepticons are really really bad and the Autobots are really really good. I never called myself a fan of the original series, because I was acutely aware of the fact that the show was nothing more than a long-form toy commercial that utilized sub-standard animation and mediocre writing. I thought that Transformers, along with G.I. Joe, He-Man, She-Ra et al were insults to the intelligence of their target audience.

However, I think that the most detestable aspects of the movie have to do with the places that plot diverges from that of the original cartoon. The additions to the story take the movie out of 'escapist blockbuster' territory and instead place it firmly into paranoid right-wing nightmare territory, at least for me.

Lots of spoilers follow:

- The movie begins with a Decepticon attack on a US military base in Qatar. The 2003 invasion of Iraq began with attacks from Qatar-based US military. Are the Decepticons agents of Iraq? Al Qaeda? Of course not. They're just evil-doers.

- Unlike the animated series, there are no evil humans siding with the Decepticons. The only thing close to evil are the agents of the secret US organization "Sector 7," and the only thing that makes them "evil" is that they're arrogant (but it's OK, because the snarkiest one get urinated on by an Autobot, thereby receiving his comeuppance - boyoboy is Michael Bay funny). However, we're constantly reminded that we're a country prepared for war. Our military secrets are vital. Our war machines are sleek, elegant and deadly. The Decepticon attack momentarily almost triggers a world war and the reality that war between people is a real thing is never far from the surface.

- The death of innocents is wholesale, casual, and basically inconsequential. The US government makes a conscious decision to bring the cube to a city. This is the only reason that the final battle takes place among so many people. Transformers smash into cars, buildings and people. Deaths aren't acknowledged or mourned, it's just shiny robots and stuff blowing up. In a world where our government constantly reminds us of the evils of terrorism by pointing to two US buildings that were destroyed, it's hard not to think of the senseless loss of lives as Megatron and Optimus Prime smash through one occupied building after another.

What's despicable about Transformers is that it's still just a vehicle (pardon the pun) to sell merchandise. But by upping the ante, it shows cavalier disregard for the intelligence of a whole new audience.

I can't wait for the two sequels that have been given the green light. Or the Voltron movie. Or Masters of the Universe.

[innerSpaceman]

Hmm, I didn't give it that much credit as to analyze why the story points were despicable. It simply was a piece of crap that failed to entertain on its own meager merits.

It was BORING.

It was UNBELIEVABLY FREAKING STUPID!.


I really gave no credence to the fact that wanton deaths occurred during the supposedly climactic finale that I almost slept through.


But come to think of it, why did they bother to take the cube all the way from Hoover Dam to "Mission City" aka L.A., and why did they pretend that L.A. was an hour's drive from Hoover Dam? Why didn't they call it "Johnson" Dam if they were going to fake world-famous locations and their geographic relations to each other?


But I quibble.


I was glad at the beginning that Bumblebee was a Camaro and not a VW, but only because my first car was a Camaro.

The rest of the movie was an insult to my first car. Damn Michael Bay! Damn his eyes!!

[Strangler Lewis]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

Why didn't they call it "Johnson" Dam if they were going to fake world-famous locations and their geographic relations to each other?

I felt the same way about Nine Months when they showed Hugh Grant speeding the wrong way on the road to Fort Point--a road no one would actually drive in their daily routine--just to show the Golden Gate Bridge in the background. Ruined the movie for me.

Stuff like that seems to happen a lot with San Francisco movies.

[innerSpaceman]

It happens less with L.A. movies ... probably becaue the director's friends and neighbors also live in Los Angeles, and would rib him about it.



Michael Bay has no shame.








but we've known that for a very long time.

[BarTopDancer]

If we're going to start nickpicking reality details (never mind that the movie is about ROBOTS from outer space fighting their war on earth) then how come no one saw the robots in the neighborhood hiding amongst the houses?

MP - the Decepticons were killing the humans. Not the Autobots. "We must not harm the humans" [no matter how annoying they are].