KFC + Salvation Army

[AllyOops!]

I desperately try to avoid eating meat, and then always collapse in a fit of meat lovin' frenzy sooner or later. However, I do my best and eat lots & lots of fish, and occasionaly indulge in chicken. Having said that..

KFC makes my innards want to turn to dust. I swear, I taste beak (not that I know what beak even tastes like & all, but I'm gifted with chicken clairvoyance).

It's partially that as I've grown older, I've become like a child and incredibly picky. It's also partly the fact that I won't touch fast food with a 10 foot pole. Not because I'm the picture of smart eating choices (oh, far from it says the girl who considers gas station pie one of the bestest things ever) but because I had an experience at a McDonald's that would make your skin crawl.

However, prior to that? I admit that I used to ♥ KFC Bowls. You know, the mish-mash of well, mash potatoes, corn, melted cheese, grvy and fried nuggets resembling something that was once foul? Yeah, those. Those were bomb until I had my life-altering fast food epiphany.

[innerSpaceman]

Originally Posted by AllyOops!

KFC makes my innards want to turn to dust. I swear, I taste beak (not that I know what beak even tastes like & all, but I'm gifted with chicken clairvoyance).

Um, Ally ... your chicken clairvoyance is on the fritz.


Beak is the only chicken thing you won't taste when eating KFC.

The birds' beaks are removed soon after hatching. It's the first in a long string of absolutely disgusting, gut-churning, heart-breaking elements of a foul's foul life before fast-food-supplying death.


Your innards should indeed want to turn to dust when eating KFC. Just not for the reasons you psychically perceived.

[AllyOops!]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

Um, Ally ... your chicken clairvoyance is on the fritz.


Beak is the only chicken thing you won't taste when eating KFC.

The birds' beaks are removed soon after hatching. It's the first in a long string of absolutely disgusting, gut-churning, heart-breaking elements of a foul's foul life before fast-food-supplying death.


Your innards should indeed want to turn to dust when eating KFC. Just not for the reasons you psychically perceived.

Haha! You got me- I totally freak and then claim the most outrageous things that not one person (including myself) can remotely believe when dealing with anything I don't like or am frightened of. But even in my idiocy, I'll work myself up.

Wait- the only thing I won't taste is beak? But everything else? Ugh! Does this mean they include testicles?? I knew it. I swore the last time that I had a six piece it was just ripe with chicken nuts. Ugh. I gave my dinner oral.

Now is where I get neurotic.

If KFC gives me the wiggins'? Then it must be the beak. Beak isn't used? Then it has to be rooster waddle. I just know it. Waddle n' gravy.

This could happen. I could wig & claim such a thing, as my boyfriend rolls his eyes and tells me that, "no, it's not what you think. It isn't possible". Thank you, honey. But thar be death hormones in that there henhouse. I just know it.

Last night, as we walked by the golf course, gazillions of teeny tiny flying gnats appeared. I freaked, ran into the house and declared that I just knew some flew into my ears. My eyes. And now those gnats will lay their pulsing larvae inside of me and dammit, any minute now I swear my mouth will give birth to fruit flies, death gnats or some scary sh*t like that. I just know it.

Yeah, I'm a tad dramatic.

[CoasterMatt]

Originally Posted by AllyOops!

Yeah, I'm a tad dramatic.

But oh so entertaining!