Dear:

[BarTopDancer]

Dear Erica,

Not that it matters, but I hope it helps make you feel a little better - I seem to distinctly recall you having a small crack/chip in your windshield shortly after you bought it. I have no idea if you ever got it fixed, however, if you didn't, it probably spread and caused this.

Sincerely,

BTD.

Dear grammar and punctuation nazis.

Bite me.

Much love and kisses,

BTD