The second best dad in America.

[Alex]

To be fair, Talk of the Nation did spend it's first 75 minutes talking about Petraus, the election, and the economy. And followed it with an interview about torture at Guantanamo. And the hosts point of view was very supportive and only caller said she did a bad thing.

[Kevy Baby]

Originally Posted by Moonliner

Their parents all think we're nuts.

And they are right.

[Brigitte]

I find it hard to find the right spot to draw the line, my daughter is 11.

There's a corner store maybe 3/4ths of a mile away that she was allowed to go to, we have a park in the neighborhood that she is allowed to go to and she's allowed to ride her bike within our immediate neighborhood. Her school is a mile away and she'd have to cross a busy street, so that's out.

Last spring and summer, there were 2 luring attempts within a mile of my house. She knows about them and after the second one, she was not allowed to go to the corner store anymore (the second one took place on the road she uses to get there). I realize as a parent I can't be everywhere with her, but how do I let her be independent and still maintain my sanity? She has a phone, has to carry it with her if she's out and about.

When we're out shopping or something, I have no problem letting her go to other departments to look around, but would I let her find her way home if we lived somewhere that had public transportation? Probably not yet. I think if your kids are raised in an environment where that's something commonly used, sure, they'd be ready for that sooner than my kids would be. We don't have any way for her to get home if I were to drop her at the mall or somewhere.

I guess my point is that while I was free to roam at her age, I find it very hard to let go and let her gain that independence. I don't think that woman did anything wrong either, her son obviously knows his way around and was comfortable doing it.

[katiesue]

I try and give Maddy as much freedom as I can. To be honest I'd do more but her dad would have a cow and have me arrested or something.

She's 12. She comes home from school by herself. She has to cross a busy street but it's only a block. She has an orthodontist appointment in a few weeks. It's about 4 blocks from home. I have no problem letting her walk there and back. She has a cell and she's very good about checking in.

I'll let her go to another department at the store or mall. She's never not been where she was supposed to be. Disneyland as well. She's handy as a fastpass runner. If we had any sort of public transportation she could use I would let her.

I do think people are beyond over protective and it's not good for the kids. I have a friend who goes on EVERY field trip her daughter goes on because she's paranoid something will happen with either the teacher or the other parents. She's appalled I don't do the same. (she was also quite freaked that I'd go camping with people from the internet )

There are some states where it is illeagl to leave a child alone under certain ages. As far as I can tell California has no such law. I was looking around when I started letting Maddy stay home while I ran to the supermarket and such. Just to make sure I was in the clear. My aunt had a co-worker who lost custody of her son because she'd go running every morning and leave him home asleep for a half hour or so.

Besides hello, you left the child in Bloomies. What better place

[BarTopDancer]

I have seen (and cannot find at the moment) statistics that there is not any more crime now then there was when most of us were kids. We just hear about it now because it's so easy to get the news. The first kidnapping I ever heard about was when I was not even 10. It was Laura Bradbury, from some national park. I have no idea why this name stuck with me all these years, but it did. I also have no idea how it turned out.

In the 3rd grade I was allowed to ride my bike to the store with a friend. The store shopping center had an entrance into the back [mostly deserted] parking lot in our neighborhood. In the 4th grade I was allowed to ride my bike to school with my friends (my mom drove me to the babysitters where our bikes were. Babysitter lived in the same neighborhood as the school). In the 5th grade I was allowed to ride my bike or walk to McDonalds with my friends on our half days. This bike ride was about a mile each way and took us on a busy street. In 7th grade I was walking or riding my bike to school (my 5th and 6th grade school was to far). Up a busy street and across a busy street. No crossing guards.

We were allowed to play in the front yard, unsupervised around 6 or 7 and were told to come inside if anyone who shouldn't be in the neighborhood was around.

I think parents these days are between a rock and a hard place. Give your kids independence and be labeled an uncaring parent. Watch over them to much and you're a helicopter parent.

[BarTopDancer]

Originally Posted by katiesue

(she was also quite freaked that I'd go camping with people from the internet )

Dude. What is WRONG with you? people from the internet! Don't you know they're all 55 y/o men posing as 18 y/os?

[Alex]

Crap! That's why the internet hasn't been working for me. I've been doing it backwards.

[JWBear]

Originally Posted by Alex

Crap! That's why the internet hasn't been working for me. I've been doing it backwards.

So, what are you telling us? You're really an 18 year old girl?

[Morrigoon]

Jeez Louise...

Truth is, it all depends upon the kid, how much they can handle, and how well they've been spoon-fed freedom earlier in life. At age 9 my friends and I were riding our bikes to various fast food places (several neighborhoods and busy streets away). By 13 I traveled to Winnipeg, Canada by myself to visit family, and could pretty much go anywhere my bike could carry me as long as my parents knew where I went.

Kids today are way too bubble-wrapped and sheltered. I think it leads to poor decision-making once they do go out on their own.

[Alex]

I've said too much.