The Un-Interview

[Eliza Hodgkins 1812]

Where did you do your first nude photo shoot?

1) At a Wall-Mart in Germany.

Tell us the truth, are German men as perverted as the magazines say? Do they like to wear diapers? Do they own vibrators powered by steam engines?

2) Please. I refuse to sink to your level in order to answer that.

Have you ever though about going back to school to get your high school diploma?

3) I thought about it, but then I thought better.

In your recent film, “Sexy Feast”, you had to apply various food items to your costars bodies. Which was your least favorite food to work with?

4) Applesauce.

What would you say to transitioning from pornographic film to mainstream movies?

5) I'd say that would be unwise.

Would you ever do a film involving bestiality?

6) I did that once. The monkey didn't like it.

Why do you refuse to seek treatment for your substance abuse problem?

7) I couldn't live without it.

You might feel that way, now, but your addiction has certainly gotten you into some trouble in the past. On a recent binge you began a bar room brawl because a man asked you to sign your autograph on his wife’s breasts.

8) What else could I have done? If you were in that situation, you'd do it too.