The Un-Interview

[blueerica]

Where did you meet your current beau? I understand that when you met him, he was working retail.

At a Wall-Mart in Germany.

What did you do to catch his eye? How did he catch yours?

Please. I refuse to sink to your level in order to answer that.

Why won’t you answer me?

I thought about it, but then I thought better.

OK, so let’s change the subject, what’s your favorite food?

Applesauce.

Mind if I ask if you've done anything with applesauce, other than eat it?

I'd say that would be unwise.

Come on, you’ve had to try something fun with it…

I did that once. The monkey didn't like it.

So that probably puts you in great need of the Scooper, right?

I couldn't live without it.

Last week, you fired your agent, your manager, your publicist, and your mother, all apparently over some scuffle involving a Mars bar & half a can of 7up. Why did you do it?

What else could I have done? If you were in that situation, you'd do it too.