The First Thing You'd Do if You Were President

[HTHBellcaptain]

If I were president I would disband congress and create a demented bellhop impersonator dictatorship, with myself as Bellcaptain.

Then I'd declare a Peeps! holiday. Everyone would have to celebrate the wonderful food group know as Peeps. There would be songs, poems and sagas written about Peeps.

I would create a law that forced everyone to have garden gnomes in everything they own (House, car, refridgerator, shower.) Garden Gnomes would become a status symbol.

Next thing I'd do is get rid of the U.S. Mint, and replace it with the U.S. Chocolate Mint. That's right, the new currency for my bellhop dictatorship would be Chocolate.

The final thing that I would do on day 1 of being President/Dictator/Bellcaptain would be to shoot Carrot Top.