Happy Friggin' Mother's Day

[AllyOops!]

Originally Posted by MickeyD

"Happy Friggin' Mother's Day" sounds like it should be followed by something like,

"Here's the new housecoat I bought you!"

or

"Here it is, a brand spankin' new carton of Pall Malls, just for you!"

or

"This year, I splurged and got you the best damn box of wine money can buy!"

What, you be lookin' through our window yesterday? My Mom cracked open the Franzia, (sucking directly from the enclosed wine bag, as the box just slows things down) as I sparked up a Newport and burped out "Happy Mother's day, you friggin' broad!"

Then, the LAPD came (as they do every holiday) and hauled me off screeching & kicking as I winged the celebratory Mother's Day bottles of Mad Dog 20/20 & Night Train at my Mom's head. That'll teach her to stay at of the bathroom while I'm trying to mix meth in the tub. It's not like I didn't bring my own 800 boxes of Sudafed & Tylenol Flu & Cold. At least she posted bail in time for me to make the 11:00 shift at Bob's Classy Lady. No holding tank can keep this girl away from the pole that long.


Okay, my Mom, who is actually a proud member of the Los Angeles Sheriff's Dept., would die if she saw this post. (Die laughing!)

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!! I love you oodles & poodles! Thank you for tolerating all of my drama! And Lordy, isn't there always a ton?

Happy Mother's Day to all you Mom's!