Kid Question, Opinions Requested

[MouseWife]

Okay, wallowing through the truth and the schtick, I agree with letting it go between the boys BUT making sure your son understands what happened, that it is the rat Blakes fault, I mean, monkey Blake. He seems to have issues.

Now, the fact that he gets along with the older monkey, Trent, may be a thorn in Blakes side. And, well, I agree with blueerica, he {Trent} sounds like a cool dude.

Anywho. Kids. My youngest is ten. So, I am right in the middle of that crap. As GD said, kids grow apart and it hurts the one who isn't ready for it. This actually happened a few months ago with his best friend. I told him not to be mean about it, to let it go. Perhaps they would be friends again and perhaps not but they were best friends so there was something about the kid that he really like and not to be mean to him. And, not to use personal information he had on him to get him at school. They eventually worked their way back together. My son was upset with him because he {other kid} was eager to please other people {to make new friends, to keep from being beaten up? I dunno...} and didn't appreciate the friend he had.

Hmm...sounds like marriage....

but that is another story for another thread......

Best of luck and be happy that it won't last forever...he'll find a new buddy and perhaps they all will be friends.

Oh, but I would tell Blake that Olas is busy and can't play with him for a while. Play hard to get. Ooo, back to dating and marriage...sorry.....

[Brigitte]

Not to be a downer here, but I know I would not have let my daughter go to a party she was not invited to or that I have not RSVP'd to. She's 8, though, and a girl, so maybe things work differently there.

I think it's rude to let him show up an hour before the party anyway (even if he had been invited), unless the mom called and asked him over early. Kids should not be the ones calling the shots, and especially older brothers whose job is not to invite people to his younger brothers party.

[katiesue]

I read the OP late last night and then again this morning and am a little confused. Obviously Blake did not want to invite Nick to the party for whatever reason kids do this sort of thing. Just because the older brother said it was ok I would have at least called the other Mom first to make sure it really was ok. I know my daughter and her friends make all sorts of plans and extend invitations for things without asking the adults. I always call the other parent first to make sure we're all on the same page.

And I was also not clear on why he went to the party an hour ahead of time either. I know I'm never ready for the guests until right before the scheduled start time - an hour before I'm going crazy trying to do all the last minute things. Maybe the Mom was busy and didn't know what was going on between the boys?

[MouseWife]

The thing about not getting an invite~

if these are kids who have grown up together, been friends for a while, RSVP is a bit much. I mean, if it were a child that were unfamiliar, that I would have called for. I can understand wanting to teach kids about the proper way to handle invites BUT these kids sound really close, not just classmates.

About being there an hour early~

I agree, I am not ready an hour early BUT my kids always are. They aren't the ones setting up the party. They usually have their friends hang out in the room before/after the party playing video games because during the party they can't go hang out in the room. That I consider rude. When the party starts {if it is in fact a structured party} everyone is out where the party is happening. So, being there an hour early isn't rude to me.

My older son, just graduated, has friends very close like I think are being discussed here. They've dropped by, eaten with us at a moments notice, gone on vacation with us, etc. etc. I don't think these are casual friends that she is discussing.

I hope it is working out.

[Mousey Girl]

These boys have been very close. There are a total of 6 boys that are always together, after school and on weekends. They are usually at my house. On the day of the party Nick was bike riding with Trent and 2 others. They had gone by Trent & Blake's house because Trent needed to get a Game Boy game and come back to my house. That was when Nick was told not to return.

I had already decided to talk to Nick about not going since he didn't have an official invite. He came home in tears before I could talk to him.

As a parent you hate to see your child hurting. As a non parent you hate to see any child hurting. I just needed some reminding to let the boys work it out on their own. I thank everyone for their input.

[sleepyjeff]

I agree with GD...should just let it go. Besides, I have noticed that kids can get quite stressed on their birthdays and sometimes act not so nice as a result.

[wendybeth]

Originally Posted by Mousey Girl

These boys have been very close. There are a total of 6 boys that are always together, after school and on weekends. They are usually at my house. On the day of the party Nick was bike riding with Trent and 2 others. They had gone by Trent & Blake's house because Trent needed to get a Game Boy game and come back to my house. That was when Nick was told not to return.

I had already decided to talk to Nick about not going since he didn't have an official invite. He came home in tears before I could talk to him.

As a parent you hate to see your child hurting. As a non parent you hate to see any child hurting. I just needed some reminding to let the boys work it out on their own. I thank everyone for their input.

It's damned hard, isn't it? I know the best thing to do is back off and only intervene when blood is spilled, but it's easier said than done. I'm usually the one who wants to do the bloodletting. Kids can be such vicious little ****s.