The Jazz Kitchen Bill Cluster Fornication

[innerSpaceman]

Originally Posted by mousepod

I wasn't there, and if you're offended by my attitude, I'm sorry in advance.

I'm not offended by the concept. Many people swear by it. I will not abide.

Many people in our "group" are on, shall we say, a "fixed income." At my end of the table, Isaac ordered a side of mashed potatoes for dinner. Keith and Omar split their entree. I'm not even suggesting any of them did this for financial reasons, but there's no way I'll sit by and let any of my friends pay some kind of equal share for the meager amount of food they ordered.

Conversely, I don't expect anyone to share in my bar tab. And it would curtail what I order from the bar and the kitchen if I knew everyone would be splitting the tab equally.


On the occassion when I've been part of a group that happened to notice we've all ordered substantially similar amounts of food and drink, we've agreed to split the bill for convenience sake. But in most real-world situations I've found myself in, this would be grossly unfair.

[mousepod]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

I'm not offended by the concept. Many people swear by it. I will not abide.

But in most real-world situations I've found myself in, this would be grossly unfair.

Rather than curtail your excessive drinking, why don't you turn to the people that you see ordered mashed potatoes as their entree and slip them some cash? That way, two friends have figured out a way to correct the imbalance of wealth without creating a headache for the group?

I would argue that trying to do it in an "honest, pay for what you eat" method creates situations like this more often than not. In other circumstances, a pot luck dinner for example, the "only take the equivalent of what you bring" attitude would be considered tasteless. So why is it OK here?

[BarTopDancer]

Originally Posted by mousepod

I wasn't there, and if you're offended by my attitude, I'm sorry in advance...

After reading close to 100 posts about this dinner, it strikes me that this is precisely why I loathe these kinds of situations.

When I'm out with friends, I find that there's nothing easier than getting one bill, adding the tip, and dividing it by the number of people in attendance. Sure, there might be one person who only ate the bean dip appetizer and another who had 10 mixed drinks, but over time with a group of friends these things tend to balance out. If someone's short on cash, there's generally someone else who will cover for them, and if someone needs to leave before the check arrives, they will leave what their estimated cut is and then will owe or be reimbursed shortly. No headaches, no hassle.

If I'm in a situation where I need to watch my budget now, evening out later won't matter and I'm not comfortable with someone else slipping me some money to cover, so I'd just as well not attend the meal. If I am in a group and we all order similarly priced items then sure. But in a group where some people had a side and some people had a $30 entree + a $15 dessert + drinks there is no way I'd be remotely comfortable splitting that bill evenly. Especially right now where I am watching my dollars. Yes, I can go out, but I budget accordingly for myself, not for what the group orders.

[innerSpaceman]

Heheh, I would slip Isaac some cash for his mashed potatoes, but please forgive me for indelicately saying I've already slipped Isaac enough cash for approximately 368,493 Jazz Kitchen full course dinners (and, contrary to popular opinion, not in return for what he's slipped me.)



Everyone's got different experiences. Kevy might also argue the 'pay for your own meal' system has bad results more often than not. My fairly extensive group restaurant experience has this happening 1 time in 50.


I know we're all being a bit pithy here (certainly I am), but I hardly think figuring out what you've paid for, adding tax and a better than average tip for being part of a large group causes a "headache." Order aspirin with your meal if it hurts your head to figure out what you owe, and order the mashed potatoes if you can't pay for what you'd like to order.

[Strangler Lewis]

Because the amounts and the atmosphere differ. At a potluck, each person or familiy's contribution will reasonably fall between about $5 to $20. People mill about, and nobody pays too much attention to what anyone else eats or drinks (unless they get drunk). At a restaurant, every time the server comes by to take an order, a little cash register can go off in everybody's head. Drinks, more drinks, appetizers, entrees, dessert. It adds up.

MP, I would also bet that when you go out for dinner with friends, there's a lot of signaling going on about who's having what, splitting appetizers, dessert/no dessert, etc., so that at the end of the day, splitting the bill seems within the realm of reasonableness.

[mousepod]

Originally Posted by Strangler Lewis

MP, I would also bet that when you go out for dinner with friends, there's a lot of signaling going on about who's having what, splitting appetizers, dessert/no dessert, etc., so that at the end of the day, splitting the bill seems within the realm of reasonableness.

No, actually. I often go out with groups of friends and there's no overt 'signaling' going on. The conversation about cost tends to take place beforehand, in our choice of restaurants.

[mousepod]

I hear ya, iSm. I never doubt my own ability to figure out how much I owe, particularly because I never drink and rarely leave early. However, as much as I have my own issues about money, I really don't want to get into conversations about other people's money, which tends to happen when the 'pay for your own meal' process falls apart.

[Not Afraid]

Personally, I won't split a bill when there's alcohol involved unless it is with a group of 4 where Chris drinks and one of the other people also drinks. In large groups like we had the other night, there tends to be a few excessive drinkers and I won't pay a portion of their excessiveness.

[keith - SuPeR K!]

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

In large groups like we had the other night, there tends to be a few excessive drinkers and I won't pay a portion of their excessiveness.

I agree... Lisa shouldn't have to pay for my excessive drinking!

[Disneyphile]

I'm another one who won't just evenly split in hopes that it would "even" out later, mainly because I am very mindful of our budget when we go out. I'm also from the train of thought to contribute equally to pot luck situations. I like to share, not provide. It is a pet peeve of mine to see people show up and chow without contributing, especially when it tends to always be the same people.