Crazy Pet Lover Seeks Same

[Boss Radio]

I have always been insecure about my looks. In my mind, I'm the very definition of cool - handsome, clever, delightful to be around, an inspiration to children and animals the world over, and fun. Sadly, in real life, others generally regard me as a non-threatening cross between Jiminy Cricket and Oscar Madison. I have always appeared a bit eccentric, and as I gracefully age, the eccentricity deepens.

I love pretty girls. All kinds, all types. There are no guidelines for my definition of beauty. It could be a pretty face, a beutiful smile, melencholy eyes, or a random combination of features that are greater than the sum of its parts.

That's what makes life interesting. Discovery. Contact. The ritual. The daily accentuating of whatever positive physical traits one might possess to dupe the opposite sex into believing that we are something greater, prettier, BETTER than who and what we really are. Or, conversely, maybe it takes the promise of the opposite sex (or the just promise of sex) to force us to BECOME something better than we are.

Probably a little of both.

So guys feel threatened by the fact that Johnny Depp doesn't really seem to age, and always looks like a million bucks, while we nickel and dime it.

I blame MTV, Hollywood, and my parent's faulty genetic code...