Kingdom of Loathing

[Ponine]

Okay GD.. I took your advice and went to the Town Council.. see the spoiler box.

Spoiler:

We've received word that the owner of the Typical Tavern, in the Distant Woods, is having a bit of a rat problem. I'm sure he'd reward you if you took care of it for him.

The Council requires another task of you, Adventurer. You must slay the Boss Bat. He can be found in the deepest part of the Bat Hole, in the Nearby Plains. Slay him, and return to us with proof of your conquest.

We've gotten word, Adventurer, that the Knob Goblins, who normally keep to themselves over at Cobb's Knob, are planning a major military action against Seaside Town.

We need for you to go deep into the Knob, and nip this problem in the bud, so to speak, by neutralizing the Goblin King.

We've marked your map with the location of the secret entrance that will allow you to go inside the Knob. Many Bothans died to... oh, wait, never mind. That was something else.

Recently, an aura of extreme Spookiness has begun to emanate from within the Cyrpt, near the Misspelled Cemetary. We fear that some horrible monster has taken up residence there, and begun to rile up the local undead.

Would you be so good as to investigate?

You look like you need a vacation, Adventurer. Down at the Shore, they have a wide variety of relaxing trips available. Unfortunately, it's pretty far away, so you'll need a car to get there.

Also unfortunately, there are no more car dealers left in the Kingdom since that Pork Elf Wizard came through here a few years ago. You'll have to build your own car. You should be able to find almost all of the parts for it down at Degrassi Knoll. It's in the Nearby Plains.

We have received news that might be of interest to you, Adventurer. In the Dark and Dank and Sinister Cave, deep beneath the Big Mountains, our agents have detected the presence of a dangerous foe: The Spirit of New Wave.

Gee.... NOW y'all tell me...............