In Need of Some Good Vibes

[Gemini Cricket]

Speaking of Boston, my dad just sent me this:

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Two boys in Boston were playing baseball when one of them was attacked by a rabid Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off of a nearby fence, wedged it into the dog's collar and twisted it, breaking the dog's neck.
A newspaper reporter from the Boston Herald witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview the boy. The reporter began entering data into his laptop, beginning with the headline:

Brave Young Red Sox Fan Saves Friend From Jaws Of Vicious Animal

"But I'm not a Red Sox fan," the little hero interjected.

"Sorry" replied the reporter. "But since we're in Boston, Mass, I just assumed you were." Hitting the delete key, the reporter began:

John Kerry Fan Rescues Friend From Horrific Dog Attack

"But I'm not a Kerry fan either," the boy responds.

The reporter says, "I assumed everybody in this state was either for the Red Sox or Kerry or Kennedy. What team or person do you like?

"I'm a Texas Ranger fan and I really like George W. Bush" the boy says.

Hitting the delete key, the reporter begins again:

Arrogant Little Conservative Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet
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I like it.