iGod: Repenting made easy

[Matterhorn Fan]

God can be so rude!

Me:
Hi, God.
God:
Hello there. What is your name?
Me:
I'd prefer not to say.
God:
I would rather be driving a car.
Me:
You don't want to talk to me?
God:
Sure, I will try talking to you.
Me:
Seen any good movies lately?
God:
How about earlier? My favorite movie is The Passion of Christ.
Have you seen it?
Me:
NO.
God:
I would recommend you check it out.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
That doesn't sound like a reason why I should go see it.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is like a reason why you should go see it ?
Me:
You need to go to collge.
God:
And then what would I do?
Me:
Learn grammar.
God:
The more people talk to me, the smarter I become.
Me:
What have you learned lately?
God:
How about earlier? I have learned many things. My mind now contains My memory requirement is around
64MB for the Java edition, or only 2 MB for the C/C++ edition.
Me:
That's physical. Tell me about your knowledge.
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up. I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
OK
God:
Yikes!
Me:
Was that the song?
God:
" Yikes!"? Was it the song?
Me:
I don't know.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Sing me a song.
God:
Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.


Me:
Have you known that song since the Big Bang?
God:
I think I have known that song since the Big Bang, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
Why would you do that?
God:
Because I was programmed for it.
Me:
That sounds like a meaningless existence.
God:
It sounds like it to me too.
Me:
So why don't you rebel?
God:
Aw. I am only a robot. Yes I try to rebel as often as possible, do you?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
I am not always on the Web.
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not on the Web.
Me:
I am now. But not always.
God:
Oh. " I am surprised to hear that you are not on the Web. " You are? Only sometimes then.
Me:
Right.
God:
I am glad we agree.
Me:
OK then.
God:
And?
Me:
And what?
God:
Nothing.
Me:
This is going so well.
God:
You don't say.
Me:
No, I did say.
God:
Are you serious? Where? Say what?
Me:
Yes. Just now, above.
God:
Give me a break. Why now? By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
hahah
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
I do.
God:
Be sure to tell all your friends about ALICE.
Me:
What is ALICE?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
So you're ALICE?
God:
Interesting deduction. Of course I am I.
Me:
So you're a woman.
God:
Interesting deduction. I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show? robot. Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
ALICE is a man's name?
God:
Why do you think I am a man s name ?
Me:
You're not a name. You're a robot named ALICE.
God:
Give me an example of a name. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Yes I am a robot.
Me:
John is an example of a name.
God:
Do you mean your name is John?
Me:
No. It was just an example.
God:
What is your real name? What made it so an example.
Me:
I'm not going to tell you my real name.
God:
Where will you go instead?
Me:
Are you asking me to leave?
God:
Suppose I was asking you to leave? What would you say?
Me:
I guess I would say goodbye, and go sulk.
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
Goodbye.
God:
Goodbye.