Dear:

[Gemini Cricket]

Dear LoT,
Heap big doings in sky.
Loud thunder.
Storm coming.
Signed,
Chief Big Feather

[Ghoulish Delight]

Dear Fellow Male Coworkers,

It seems some instruction on how trash cans work is necessary. You wouldn't think so, all of you being engineers and all, but some of you seem to be unclear on the concept.

The model of trash can in the bathrooms have what is called a "lid". This "lid" helps keep the restroom sanitary for you and your fellow employees. This "lid" performs a very intricate movement known by some as "rotating", sometimes "flipping". It does not, however, perform this movement under its own power. Nor is the weight of a single, or even several, wet paper towels sufficient force. Therefore, one does not just place a discarded paper towel on top of the "lid". The proper procedure is to apply a small amount of force using your own muscles to "rotate" the lid, allowing the refuse to go through the "lid" and into the trash can.

We appologize for assuming you weren't retards. We will not make the same mistake in the future.

Sincerely,
Management

[Not Afraid]

Dear Dork that looks like Napoleon Dynamite with red hair.

Stop following me! I've seen you 3 times this week about town and you are too ugly to spot again. Please stay inside.

Signed,

Prefers to look at better looking people.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Dear NA,

I wasn't EVEN following you! GOSH!

Signed,

ND Dork

[Mousey Girl]

Dear Sweet Child of Mine,

I love that you have friend who have a small pool. I love that you can go over there almost every day. What I do not love is that you come home and sit around in your wet shorts.

My ass is now wet from sitting on a chair you vacated 2 hours ago!

Be glad you are not home tonight...your Mommy would have figured out some sweet revenge!!

((hugs))

Love, Your Patient, revenge-seeking Mother.

[tracilicious]

Dear Tom,

I really like you. But you are in almost everything. To tell you the truth, sometimes I get sick of you. So, maybe next time I'll let you live.

Scary for veggies,
me

[wendybeth]

An Open Letter to Concerned Vegetables:

I am offering amnersty to any vegetables that don't wish to be consumed by Tracilicious and Family. You will enjoy spacious living quarters, plentiful water and sunshine- at least until the snow flies. To locate our sanctuary, simply hang a left outta Arizona then head north until you're nearly Canadian.

Yours, etc,
Wendy in the PNW

PS- mushrooms are not included in this amnesty program, as they will likely wind up sauteed and on top of a steak.

Onions are not necessarily safe, either- especially Walla Walla sweets.

PPS- Potatoes might be a bit....endangered, as well.

PPPS- Brussel sprouts are guaranteed a long and healthful existence.

[Freaky Tiki]

To whom it may concern:

Stop testing the emergency broadcast system when I'm watching something good on TV. Start doing it at like 3 or 4 in the morning. Hell, if I was watching TV at that time, I'd even forgive you.

[BarTopDancer]

Dear BTD,

Thank you so much for giving me a bath.

Love,

ShinyCar


Dear Costco,

Please do not attack me

Singed,

BTD

[Matterhorn Fan]

Dear Traci,

I posted a link to the non-rennet cheese list in the "Soooo" thread a while ago. If you search posts for rennet, you should find it easily. I'd post it again, but apparently I forgot to bookmark it.

Matterhorn Fan (whose current favorite cheese may or may not be on that list. I'm not sure if I dare to look)