Dear:

[Ghoulish Delight]

Dear Fellow Male Coworkers,

It seems some instruction on how trash cans work is necessary. You wouldn't think so, all of you being engineers and all, but some of you seem to be unclear on the concept.

The model of trash can in the bathrooms have what is called a "lid". This "lid" helps keep the restroom sanitary for you and your fellow employees. This "lid" performs a very intricate movement known by some as "rotating", sometimes "flipping". It does not, however, perform this movement under its own power. Nor is the weight of a single, or even several, wet paper towels sufficient force. Therefore, one does not just place a discarded paper towel on top of the "lid". The proper procedure is to apply a small amount of force using your own muscles to "rotate" the lid, allowing the refuse to go through the "lid" and into the trash can.

We appologize for assuming you weren't retards. We will not make the same mistake in the future.

Sincerely,
Management