Dear:

[Motorboat Cruiser]

Dear toilet,

I just want to thank you for your lovely sense of timing. A stomach virus/flu/whatever just wouldn't be as much fun if you were functioning correctly. Since I have to actually open the tank and stick my hand in to manually flush you (due to a broken chain), I can't tell you how pleased I am that I get to play out this scenario every 20 minutes or so. Thanks so much for the memorable evening.